


Darling, I Want to Destroy You

by StalkerDex



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Boys In Love, Drama, M/M, Romance, Sexual Tension, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29737197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StalkerDex/pseuds/StalkerDex
Summary: Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski have a massive fight in their freshman year that drives Cartman out of town for two years.  Upon his sudden and unexpected return, the two of them find themselves wanting to repair things, but unsure of how to really resolve their anger and pain.  Eventual Kyman.**This story contains language and sexual content**
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	1. What Is It About Us?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story originally back in 2011. I am going to go through and edit it and clean it up one chapter at a time. Posts should be very regular because I'm only doing minor re-writes to correct errors and use better prose in some cases.
> 
> There are a lot of slurs utilized in the characters' language and thoughts. I do this to keep true to their personalities on the show & these views do not reflect my own. They are teens in this story, but I have them set at an age where they would be considered young adults.
> 
> I do hope you enjoy! Thanks so very much for reading.

There he was, chubby, red, tear stained cheeks trembling as he clenched his fists tight. The Broflovski boy had been pushing him harder and harder, the tension between the two reaching epic proportions throughout the last few months of their young lives together. They were fifteen years old at the time of the legendary, end-all fight between he and his young Jewish friend.

"That's it Cartman! I've had enough!" Kyle screamed, his face also red and hot. There were no tears gracing his angelic face, however, as he was not nearly as emotionally invested in their rather strained relationship as the fat one was.

"Oh, yeah? Well so have I you goddamn, dirty, rotten Jew!" He retaliated, forcefully wiping a tear from his face. He couldn't believe that he was crying; especially in front of Kyle.

The other boys watched in anticipation, waiting for the ground zero fight to happen. Every single young man in their Freshman class had known since they were eight years old that, one day, Cartman and Broflovski would finally blow and try to murder each other. That day had finally come. It had all started a few months earlier when Kyle met a girl named Stacey. They had started dating and, for whatever reason, Cartman had detested their entire romance from day one. He would always dismiss it, saying she was just someone to fuck. He was always quick to remind the Jew that he thought she was a whore and how, if he had a moment alone with her, she would blow him just as quickly as she would blow Kyle. Of course, none of this was true. She was actually a really good person who genuinely cared for Kyle, but for what was at the time a very unknown reason, Cartman loathed her very existence.

On that particular day, all of the insults and fighting had led to more vile verbal attacks between the two of them and had reached its final breaking point. They were walking through the hall, having retrieved books from their lockers for the English class all the boys shared together, when Cartman half-heartedly commented on how Stacey had 'swallowed the cum of every boy in the school twice over'. It was then that, swiftly and abruptly, Kyle threw his books to the ground and started swinging at the pudgy, racist little shit that had vexed him so badly over the course of his entire life. He couldn't take it anymore. He simply started swinging, blind with rage. It was only when he'd calmed himself down that the two had their chance to tell one another it was enough.

Cartman had been lying on the ground, continually wiping the tears off of his fat, red face as Kyle furthered the confrontation. His nose was a little bloodied as Eric had gotten in a few shots of his own.

"Then why...why, if you've had enough, do you keep on pushing me Cartman! What the fuck is your problem?" he demanded, straddling his friend.

Eric simply furrowed his brow, looking as though he were going to really burst into tears. He breathed heavily as Kyle gripped his collar, still braced to punch him some more.

"Because..." the fat boy suddenly managed to spit out, putting one of his hands up over his eyes. He couldn't bear to look at him, "because I..." he struggled some more.

Kyle waited, still furious. He managed to contain himself for a few more seconds before his rage got the better of him. He punched him hard in his face, causing Cartman's eyes to roll into the back of his head. He had lost consciousness.

"Fuck you," Broflovski spat out as he stood up, "I don't give a shit anyway," he muttered as he walked away, leaving a crowd of their classmates to tend to his fallen friend. It was the last time anyone would lay eyes on him for another two years.

…

The last bus for the night was rolling into South Park. There was nothing special or unusual about this bus. It was full of the daily, poor and filthy vermin that always rode the bus. However, there was one young man who stood out in the crowd. He was seated in the very back, a white paper-back book in his hand. He wasn't really reading it; simply pretending so as to avoid conversation with any of the strange people he was riding with. No one recognized him or paid him any attention though, much to his relief. His chestnut brown hair was poking out slightly over his eyes from under his black beanie, though not covering them. His hazel eyes flickered from side to side as he pretended to read the book nestled between his thin fingers. He was tall and of a semi-muscular build; though had he not had his stature he would be considered pretty small. Upon his body he wore a black leather jacket, a blue long sleeved shirt and jeans, tucked into his large black snow boots. He was sitting with his feet on the chair, propping the book he was 'reading' up against his knees.

"Alright everybody, this is our last stop. South Park, Colorado!" the bus driver's petite voice informed over the bus speakers. The young man looked up from his book, his eyes a little tired. He was relieved to hear his long ride was over. Hell, he was relieved that this agonizing wait was over. It was finally time to come home and face it all; everything he had left behind.

He grabbed his large, blue duffel bag that had safely been stowed beneath his seat for the majority of the ride as he stood up, stretching his legs out as he did so. It felt so good to stand after he'd spent so many hours cramped up on that God-forsaken bus. He looked out the window for a moment as he followed a line of people out of the bus, smiling as he spotted a familiar face waiting for him. There she was; his wonderful, beautiful mother. He could hardly contain himself as he waited for the line of filthy rotten homeless to let him off of that rancid bus.

"Poopikins!" he heard her soft voice cry out as he finally was able to step off of the bus, the cold air greeting him harshly. He had forgotten how cold South Park was.

"Mom!" he said joyously as he dropped his duffel bag. She ran up to him, so small and frail compared to the young man he'd grown into. He embraced her tightly, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder. He could feel her shaking as she cried happily.

"Oh, Eric...it's so good to see you!" she continued as she stepped back, wiping her tears away and observing how greatly her son had changed.

"It's good to see you too, Mom," he said gently as he recovered his duffel bag, smiling broadly at her.

"Look at you!" she began, "you've gotten so thin! And tan too!"

He let out an uncomfortable laugh, “Yeah. Thanks...there's a lot more sun in California than there is here," he explained.

"Well, it's done you good," she said joyously as she started to lead her son to her car. She hadn't felt this happy in years; South Park was a cold, lonely place without her son to keep her company. She had always been so co-dependent on him and when he left it had literally broken her. All the town had been looking after her while he was away.

"You look really good, Mom," Eric stated, noticing that she'd aged. It made him sad to see the frailness of her body. She looked as though she was malnourished, which caused a pang of guilt to settle itself into his stomach. He knew he'd aged her by leaving; he'd done her wrong. He'd done everyone wrong, and it took him two years to realize that running away from his problems wouldn't fix anything. Sure, he looked better on the outside, but he felt like the most miserable failure on the inside.

"Thank you, Eric," she said graciously, knowing very well that it was a lie. None of that mattered now though...she was just so grateful to have her baby boy back.

"So...how was California?" she asked, unsure of what he would divulge and what he wouldn't. She still wasn't entirely sure as to why he'd left.

Eric leaned his head back into his seat and looked over at her. It melted her heart to see his lovely hazel eyes looking up at her, though they weren't nearly as innocent as she'd remembered. There was something different about him. Nonetheless, he smiled at her softly before speaking.

"It was okay," he began, "you know...there's a bunch of tree hugging hippies out there...not really my kind of place."

Mrs. Cartman smiled to herself. Now that sounded like the boy she knew. Of course, after his answer processed in her head she found herself holding back a slew of questions. Why did you leave? What took you so long to come back? Did you find what you were looking for? Of course, she knew she'd have to be patient. Eric was never one to be pushed.

"You know, Eric..." she began, a little uneasy about what she had to say.

Her son looked at her once more, curious. He could tell she was about to say something important.

"What is it?"

She swallowed hard, keeping her eyes on the road in front of her. They were already almost home. God this town was so fucking small.

"Your little friend Kyle..." she continued, pausing once more to get a read on her son. She noticed that his body seemed to tense at the mention of his friend. Still, she decided to continue, "...he visits me. Every day. He comes by in the mornings and has coffee with me," she finished.

A long moment of silence passed between the two. He wasn't surprised. He had asked him to, after all. Despite the fact that Kyle was a covetous Jew, he really did his best to take care of those around him.

"Good," was all he could manage to spit out. They were pulling into the drive way by the time he'd thought of that brilliant line. His mother cleared her throat, not really feeling any relief. She craved answers.

"Okay, well...you're home now," she sighed, offering a rather strained smile to her son. He returned the sentiment as he gathered his duffle bag, letting himself out of the car. It already felt good to be home. Strange how comforting a familiar place could be. Liane watched quietly as her son walked ahead of her into the house. He was barely recognizable to her, which was frustrating. She felt like a terrible mother for letting him walk away all those years ago. She had allowed him to go out into the world, so young and alone, because she was so preoccupied with her own needs. She still was really. In fact, she had only delved further into the sex and drugs in the absence of her son. How could she not? He was the only thing keeping her from going completely off of the deep end. After all, he was the only friend she really had.

"Alright, Mom. I think I'm gonna go to bed now. I'm tired," he said, sad that he didn't have the energy to stay up and talk with her. He could tell it made her sad too, but she simply smiled at him and gave him a warm hug, letting him know that she would be there for him in the morning. God, he really had missed this godforsaken place.

…

"Okay, I'm going over to Liane's," Kyle announced as he flew down the stairs. He was wearing his signature green ushanka, allowing the slightest bit of his red hair to poke out. He also had on a long sleeved green shirt, blue skinny jeans and big brown snow boots. He was always such a vision with that snowy pale skin, effortlessly thin body and fiery red hair.

"Wait a minute Bubala!" Shiela announced, stopping her son in his tracks, "here...at least take this breakfast burrito with you before you go! You have to let me feed you on your first day of senior year!" she pleaded. She really didn't like the fact that he insisted on spending his morning's with someone else's mother, but she knew it was what he had to do. He had such a big heart she couldn't really be mad at him for it; though she was admittedly envious.

"Thanks, Ma," he said graciously, kissing her on her forehead. He was quite a bit taller than her now. All the boys were outgrowing their mothers; it was strange.

"Have a good day, Kyle," his dad shouted from the kitchen. Kyle waved at him dismissively as he rushed around. He had to have his morning coffee with Liane before school.

"Thanks! I will! I love you guys!" he responded as he hurried out of the door, hopping into the Prius his parents had gotten him for his 16th birthday. Yeah, a Prius...even after the whole Hybrid ordeal that's what they went with. He wasn't really sure why it was such a big deal that he visited Liane in the mornings. After all, Cartman was a total asshole, and to top that off he turned out to be a major pussy when he’d bailed on her. It vexed him every day that he'd just run away like that. However, his only request was that Kyle visit with his mom while he was away. He knew why; Liane was lost. She was pervasively lonely and Eric had always been the only thing that she'd really cared about. Eric had known damn well what he was leaving behind. In a way, Kyle felt like he had to do it not only for Liane, but for Eric. His mom was the only person he'd ever shown any inkling of affection or love towards and Kyle would be damned if he was going to let her fall apart. After all, when Cartman returned he'd need a family to come home to.

Kyle cringed at the thought. He wasn't sure what the hell he would do when Cartman came back. Fuck, he wasn't even sure _if_ Cartman would come back. However, he was a hopeless optimist at times and somewhere, deep down in his heart, he knew that Eric would come back. If not for him, for his mother.

He shook his head to himself as he drove. He wasn't really sure why he thought that Eric would come back for him. Furthermore he wasn't sure why he even wanted him to feel like he had to come back for him. Perhaps it was the fact that they had a shared the comfort of a lifetime of friendship together. It really was something special that all four of the boys had; they'd literally known each other all of their lives, and that brought a certain comfort and security that other relationships simply would never know. Even with Cartman that stood true. Perhaps that was why he had put up with all of his bullshit for so long; perhaps that was why he even found himself wishing, at times, that things hadn't been left the way they were.

Either way, it didn't matter. Eric was gone and there was no promise of his return. The Jewish boy pulled his car up into Liane's driveway, checking himself in the mirror before he went in. He'd actually grown pretty close with Cartman's mom over the last two years and for some reason he always wanted to put his best foot forward when he was around her.

He got out of the car quickly, tossing his keys into his pocket carelessly as he approached the front door. He knocked lightly; he was always very gentle around Liane. She had grown to be so fragile these days.

"Kyle! Hello!" she greeted, stepping aside to let him in. She really did seem excited to see him today, and it confused him a little. Sure, she was always happy to see him, but today she was just beaming. He stepped in and gave her a hug before pulling back to look her over.

"You look really good today, Ms. Cartman!" he announced, smiling broadly at her. She smiled warmly at him, shaking with excitement.

"He's here," she whispered loudly, grabbing his hand and leading him into the kitchen. His head started spinning. Who was she talking about?

"Who's here?" he asked, sitting down at the table.

Liane didn't answer. Instead, she quickly poured three cups of coffee, presumably one for the mystery person she was talking about, and set them on the table. Her eyes were bright as she put her finger up, signaling that she wanted him to wait a moment before standing up straight. She looked towards the living room and hollered out, though still gently, "Poopikins! Kyle is here!"

Kyle's emerald eyes widened. Cartman? Cartman was here? What the fuck? He stood up, looking towards the stairs expectantly. He felt utter confusion as he spotted the back of a tall, thin brunette's head walking down them. As Eric rounded the corner Kyle's jaw dropped. Obviously this was him but...holy shit...he looked like a whole new person! His skin was smooth and olive, his hair straight, bangs hanging just over his hazel eyes; he had a leather jacket, brown shirt, tight jeans and black snow boots adorning his now fit and trim frame. He was stunned and entranced at the sight.

"C...Cartman?" he stammered, unable to really put together a sentence.

"Hey, Jew boy," he said, very matter of fact, which frustrated Kyle even further.

"When did you get here?" he demanded, though watching his tone. Sure, he was pissed as fuck at Cartman, but he wasn't about to upset Liane; not after all the trouble he'd gone through to ensure she was okay.

"Last night. Took the bus," he answered. He was being a dick...acting so fucking casual.

Kyle eyed him suspiciously as everyone sat down at the table.

"Oh, I'm just so happy to see the both of you," Liane said sweetly, oblivious to the tension between the two teenagers. Kyle offered her a soft, yet uncomfortable smile while Eric took a sip of his coffee, hazel eyes fixated on his Jewish friend. It was making Kyle very uneasy and, for some reason, he was suddenly very aware of the fact that he wanted to look as presentable as possible. After all, Eric was looking fucking fantastic. This also bothered him. What had happened to his fat piece of shit friend?

"You, uh...you look different," Kyle said slowly, taking a sip of his coffee. He was doing everything he could to avoid eye contact with Carman. Eric? Cartman? What was he supposed to call him now? Fuck...who was this person?

Eric, however, stared the uncomfortable boy down as they spoke. His arms were crossed firmly across his chest as he leaned back casually in the chair. He seemed as fucking arrogant as ever.

"Of course I do butt pipe...it's been two years. Everyone looks different."

"Eric...be nice," Liane chimed in, though her tone wasn't all that serious. The dynamic between the two of them seemed to be the same. She simply wanted to be his friend.

"Sorry, Mom," he said quietly, finally breaking the stare he'd focused on Kyle. The Jewish boy breathed a sigh of relief in response, taking another sip of his coffee. He was nearly done.

Liane smiled gently as she touched her hand to the back of Eric's head. Kyle noticed a softness in Eric's eyes as he looked at his mom. It was actually pretty fucking heartwarming, as much as he hated to admit it.

"Well," she said, breathing out heavily and gathering up the cups, "you two had better get going. You don't want to be late for your first day of senior year!" she chirped, walking the dishes over to the sink.

"Yeah, yeah," Cartman answered quietly, standing up and walking out into the living room to grab a backpack his mom had readied for him from the couch.

"Oh, here," Liane said suddenly, running towards the fridge and pulling a little brown bag out, "I made you a lunch. I put healthy stuff in there for you," she assured, handing the bag to Eric, who had already walked back into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Ma," he said graciously, taking the bag from her and tossing it into his backpack. Once he'd secured it into his bag he leaned forward and kissed his mom's cheek, rubbing her arm for a second as though reassuring of something. Perhaps their dynamic had changed a bit. It was the first time Kyle had ever seen Cartman make a caring gesture towards her; like he was going to take care of her for once, instead of pushing her around.

"Come on, Kahl," Eric demanded, his old accent creeping through. It was a trip to hear his familiar voice in that new body.

"Uh, yeah, okay," he responded, standing up from his chair.

Liane gave Kyle a joyful smile and wrapped him in a quick hug before letting them take off. Kyle could see Cartman huffing a bit at the sight; he was jealous.

"Bye, Mrs. Cartman," Kyle said respectfully, trying not to be too informal since he'd clearly irritated Cartman. It was the first time in a long time he hadn't meant to.

"Bye Kyle," she said sweetly, pulling him in for another brief hug before releasing him. Kyle put his hand to his mouth and coughed into it quietly, trying to ease his discomfort. He had to get out of that house.

Eric waived at his mom, almost dismissively, as he headed out the front door, not bothering to wait up for his friend. Kyle hurried after him, smiling one last time at Liane before shutting the door behind him. Cartman was already out of his driveway, walking briskly.

"Hey, asshole...do you want a ride?" Kyle half-way asked, half-way demanded, causing the boy to stop in his tracks. He didn't turn around; he just stood there. He was having a hard time. Seeing Kyle was more intense than he had anticipated. When he'd turned to see him for the first time as he’d off of those stairs, his heart had stopped for the first time in years. He shut his eyes, feeling the cold air on his face, forcing the pit in his stomach down at the thought of being alone with Kyle.

"Fine," he spat out, almost involuntarily. It was cold, and he really didn't want to walk to school by himself. It would be easier to walk on campus with someone by his side, too; even if it was Kyle.

He huffed and turned around, walking up to the passenger side of Kyle's car.

"So, I see your parents decided to buy you a giant vagina," Cartman mocked, settling into his seat and shutting himself inside. His demeanor was still very casual as he was leaning back far into the seat, propping his feet up on the backpack he'd tossed to the floor.

Kyle, despite the tension and awkwardness of the whole situation, managed to chuckle a bit. It was true. A long silence passed between the two of them as Kyle started to drive towards the school.

"So, eh...are you still seeing Stacey, then?" Eric finally asked, breaking the awkward silence they had been sitting in. He wasn't looking at Kyle at all, rather, he had moved his feet up onto Kyle's dashboard and had his cell phone in hand, playing carelessly with some game he had on it.

"Yeah," Kyle responded, looking over at his friend for a moment. It was irritating how he wasn't looking at him. Why did he always have to act like he didn’t care?

"You know, Cartman...what the fuck? What's your deal? I mean we have a fight and then you just fucking take off for two years and show up out of the blue? And now you're asking me questions about my girlfriend like it's nothing? And what does it matter whether I'm dating her or not...you can't possibly still..."

"Thanks for watching over my mom," Eric interrupted, causing Kyle to shut his mouth abruptly.

"I...uh..." he stammered for a moment, shooting another look at Eric. He was still focused on his phone.

Kyle sighed deeply. Perhaps now wasn't the right time.

"You're welcome, dude," he said, pulling into the high school parking lot.

Kyle shut his car off and leaned back into his seat, looking at Cartman once more. He really did look good.

"You ready for this?" he asked, knowing that this was no easy feat.

"Of course I am...Jesus tap-dancing Christ...it's just school, asshole," Eric responded, genuinely irritated. Kyle rolled his eyes. He may have looked different, but Cartman was still the same fucking piece of shit he'd always been. It was disappointing.

"Whatever," he spat out, getting out of the car and slamming his door shut. Cartman winced a bit at the Jew's rage. So far things weren't going exactly how he had hoped. He simply didn't know any other way to communicate with Kyle though; it was easier to stay in his comfort zone...at least for the time being. He sighed to himself before grabbing his backpack and letting himself out of the car. Despite the tiff they'd just had, Kyle was still waiting beside the car for him. That goddamn Jew...no matter how mean he was to him he would always stick by his side. It was part of the reason he'd even had some courage to come back.

"Hey Kyle!" a familiar voice rang out from behind Eric, causing him to turn. It was that goddamn hippie Stan; Kenny wasn't far behind him.

"Hey, Stan," Kyle said, shifting his backpack on his thin shoulder. Kyle’s body seemed frail from his frequent bouts of illness, yet Eric knew he was still tough as fuck. He had always been.

"Who's this?" Stan asked, standing at his usual spot; attached right at Kyle's fucking Jew hip.

"Who the fuck do you think I am you goddamn hippie piece of shit?" Cartman huffed, offended that he wasn't recognized. Stan and Kenny's eyes both widened.

"Holy shit, dude...no way..." Stan exclaimed, totally stunned.

Kenny shouted a few incoherent things from beneath his hood. That poor asshole still hadn't figured out that he could actually pop his mouth out of his hood if he wanted.

"God, Kenny..." Eric muttered, putting his hand to his head in frustration and disgust.

"Jesus, dude...you look like you threw about seventy-five percent of yourself up! What happened?"

Cartman furrowed his brow, growing further aggravated, "Fuck you, Stan. I hate you...I seriously, seriously hate you."

Stan smiled in return. Kyle watched the interaction, utterly shocked at how the other two just seemed to pick right up where they'd left off with him. Joking and ripping on each other...Cartman pouting and defending himself. Why was it so easy for the three of them to go right back to where they'd started? Why was it so much more difficult for him to interact with Cartman? Shouldn't he be able to pick up just the same as Stan and Kenny were? It boggled his mind. He had no idea what the difference was between them. It wasn't like he'd ever been particularly close with Cartman. Him and Stan were always the closest out of anyone in the group.

Kyle scratched the back of his neck as the four of them started walking towards the school. What was the difference? What was so special about his and Cartman's relationship that was making this whole thing so goddamn difficult? What was so special about Cartman that he even worried about it in the first place?

"Hey dudes...hang on..." Cartman stated, grabbing Kyle's arm and dragging him to the side of the school. Stan and Kenny followed. They were all out of everyone else's view and they watched quietly as Cartman pulled a pack of menthol cigarettes from his leather jacket pocket.

"You're smoking now...?" Kyle asked, his voice dripping with judgment.

"Yeah, I'm smoking now, butt pipe. What do you care?" he asked as he put it in his mouth and lit it, taking a nice drag off of it. He was nervous about stepping into that school and this would really help to calm his nerves.

"Well...it's bad for you," he said stupidly, blinking and staring at Cartman.

"Chill out, Kyle," Kenny said, pulling his hood off and reaching his hand out. He wanted a drag.

"No way poor boy!" Cartman stated, slapping his hand away.

"Aw, c'mon! Don't be a dick!" Kenny demanded as he grabbed the cigarette out of Cartman's hand and took a drag.

"'Ey!" Eric shouted, grabbing it back, "It' mine!"

Stan rolled his eyes, "you guys are both dumbasses. Hurry up and smoke that shit Cartman...I don't want to be late."

"We won't be late Princess, Jesus," he responded, though hardly seeming irritated. Kyle noticed that the cigarette seemed to be calming his nerves. It was sort of nice to see him relaxing.

"Hey...can I try it?" Kyle suddenly blurted, curious.

Eric looked as though he were about to choke, putting his hand to stomach, "hah...what? Are you serious?"

"Well...yeah," Kyle said, looking naïve as all hell. It was incredibly endearing to Eric and he had to force himself not to smile too warmly at him.

He raised his eyes brows doubtfully at his friend before passing him the cigarette. The boys all watched, waiting for Kyle to either pussy out or humiliate himself in a fit of coughing.

Kyle eyed the little burning stick in hand for a moment, wanting to prove himself to Cartman for some stupid reason. Well...fuck it, he figured as he put it to his mouth and took a small puff.

It didn't really seem to do anything.

"You're not doing it right, asshole. Inhale it!"

"I did!" Kyle defended himself, frustrated.

"No you didn't you goddamn Jew...pull it into your mouth and then suck it in," he explained.

Kyle huffed at him but put the cigarette back to his mouth and did as he was told. He suddenly erupted into a fit of coughing, causing all the rest of the boys to laugh at him.

"Sick dude...why would anyone want to do this!" he asked, handing it back to Cartman and scowling. He did note a slight sensation of light headedness; it was nice.

"Because," Cartman retorted, not really having an explanation for his addiction. In all honesty, it helped him cope with his diet. It had been really hard for him to wean himself off of all the fatty, sugary foods he was used to. It took the edge off and made it easier for him to lose the weight.

"Alright...are you guys done?" Stan asked, "I want to get my schedule."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Cartman muttered, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. He wasn't angry though; if anything he was happy that he'd had a very small, but significant moment of peace with Kyle. Perhaps things weren't going to be as awful as he had expected. Unfortunately, just as quickly as that fleeting comfort had settled, it was gone.

"Hey baby! What are you doing back here?" Stacey asked, walking up to Kyle and giving him a rather passionate kiss. Eric had to look away; he couldn’t take watching them make out like that. He was envious and he couldn't afford to be; that was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

"Hey Stace," he replied once they'd shared their kiss, "Cartman needed to have a cigarette before class," he explained matter-of-factly. It was almost as though he'd already forgotten that his return was kind of a big deal. It sort of wounded him how quickly he'd lost his focus once that dirty slut was around.

"Cartman?" she asked, looking at him, "I can hardly recognize you!"

Eric grunted at her before looking down at his feet, pushing some snow around with his boot.

"You look really good!" she continued, trying to ignore the fact that she knew about all of the things he'd said about her in the past.

He sighed loudly before looking up at her. She really had grown into an attractive woman, which bothered him even further. She had long, black hair that framed her pale white face and a great body. She was the whole package for sure.

"Thanks," he muttered before shifting his backpack, "c'mon Keeny...let's go."

And with that, the boys all headed into class for their first day of senior year. Little did Eric and Kyle know that this would be the most emotional, trying, and complicated year of their young lives.


	2. There's No Other Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric's been living back home for a few months and made little progress at addressing his problems. As a night out abruptly must end, a glimpse of his situation is given.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos & reviews. This chapter is super short, but important to the story. Enjoy!

"Seriously, guys...I gotta go home," Cartman insisted, pushing the beer Stan was shoving in his face away.

"C'mon, Cartman! Don't be a pussy!" Stan insisted, pushing the beer back in his face. He was already pretty drunk and he was starting to be a little belligerent, much to Eric's distaste.

"Fine...I'll have one beer. But that's it asshole!" he said, taking the beer out of Stan's hand.

"There you go," he said, grabbing a beer for himself. Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Stacey, Bebe, Butters, Wendy, Tweek and Craig were all sitting around a small fire at Stark's Pond. It had been about three months since Cartman's return and things had pretty much settled back into a normal routine. Of course, no one dared to ask him about his absence and he hadn't bothered to divulge any information either.

"Why’re you in such a hurry to get home anyway?" Craig asked, flipping him the bird.

"Fuck you too, Craig," Cartman retaliated before answering, "I'm too busy to hang out with you goddamn assholes, that's why."

Kyle rolled his eyes from across the fire. Cartman couldn't help but be a little bothered. He swallowed hard and looked at Kyle, somewhat pleadingly. It wasn't fair that he couldn't really talk about why he couldn't stay; it was too embarrassing.

"I, uh..." he started, but hesitated, composing himself.

Everyone watched him, expectant, before Wendy spoke up.

"Don't worry about it, you guys."

Stan shrugged before putting his arm around Wendy and continuing, "Well, I'm just saying...if Cartman doesn't have a real goddamn reason to go home he should stay out with us. I'll get you laid!" he announced.

Eric took a swig of his beer, eyeing his friend with immense irritation.

"I don't need you to get me laid, douche bag."

"Of course he doesn't!" Bebe spoke up, smiling brightly at him, "he's got a hot little ass now!"

Cartman smiled at her, feeling a little more intrigued. He liked compliments; they helped him to keep that immense ego of his inflated.

"Like Cartman's ever had any ass..." Kenny laughed, mocking him.

"Fuck you, Keeny!" he huffed, having another swig, "I've had plenty."

Bebe stood up, obviously obliterated at this point and walked over to Cartman, having herself a seat on his lap. He looked a little irritated at first, which made Kyle smile. However, he quickly recovered and put his free arm over her legs. She was welcome.

"Are you sure you're not a little virgin boy?" she asked, although not mocking. She was flirting with him pretty heavily. He smirked at her, though didn't make any attempt to return the affection.

"No...I'm not a goddamn virgin. Christ..." he said, shaking his head and polishing off the last of his beer. "Gimme another one, hippie!"

Stan grabbed another from his cooler, eager to get Cartman as wasted as the rest of them were. Kyle watched, a disapproving look in his eye. He never partook of their drinking night, which had become the thing to do on Saturday's at some point while Cartman was in California. He liked the new tradition, though it was always difficult for him to get home early enough to deal with his mother.

He sighed, quickly pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He was still okay...it was only eleven. So long as he was home by midnight he should be fine.

"Why do you keep looking at your phone?" Stacey asked, much to his irritation.

"None of your goddamn business," he replied, though there wasn't much venom in his tone. He really was trying to plan a way to get out of spending another three hours with these guys. Fuck, it was such an ordeal every Saturday.

Stacey sighed, leaning her head on Kyle's shoulder. Eric watched, a significant jealousy boiling up in his chest. Kyle had his arm around her...keeping her snug and warm. They were always so cute and cuddly; it drove him fucking nuts. Kyle in general fucking drove him out of his mind. One minute he hated that Jew's guts more than anything he could possibly think of on the planet; the next he was absolutely dizzy with desire for him. He'd completely lost count of how many times he'd jerked himself off to the thought of having his way with that goddamn Jew.

He looked down at his feet, Bebe drunkenly nuzzling into his neck. It felt sort of nice to have some physical contact, even if it wasn't the person he wanted. Everyone was chatting around him, or nuzzling with someone, or drinking themselves into the stars. So it always was. He stared at his feet just a moment longer before lifting his gaze, meeting Kyle's lovely green eyes. Stacey was now on his lap kissing his neck, though...for whatever reason, that Jew was looking at him. He wasn't sure what sort of expression he must've had on his face, but he hoped it didn't display the mixture of jealousy and confusion he was feeling. His stomach literally ached as he watched her, pushing her body repeatedly against _his_ Jew. Kyle still maintained his gaze with Eric though, both of them sort of searching the other over.

"Eric...want to make him jealous?" Bebe whispered in his ear.

"W...what?" Eric asked in a hushed tone, breaking his gaze with Kyle.

"Do you want to make him jealous," she repeated, leaning back and looking Cartman square in the eyes.

"Why would I want to make him jealous?" he asked quietly, trying to act as though the thought was ludicrous.

Bebe rolled her eyes and sighed, "please...I know why you left. I saw the fight you two had...I saw the look in your eyes. I know what you were trying to say to him."

Eric blinked his hazel eyes, a little stunned at how straightforward Bebe was being.

"Now...I'm only going to ask you this one more time...do you want to make him jealous?"

Eric swallowed hard, looking at Bebe like she’d lost her marbles, which made her smile.

"Well..." he began softly. She didn't really give him an option and gently pressed her mouth against his before he could finish speaking.

The kiss, much to Cartman's surprise, was actually a little breathtaking. It was the first time he'd felt like someone actually wanted to get physical with him, a feeling he relished. He took a moment, but eventually he closed his eyes and put his hand to the back of her neck, returning the kiss. The whole thing was actually rather slow and passionate, which was strange. He hadn't had a whole lot of kisses in his short life, but this one was definitely different.

He could feel his heart begin to race as he thought about how Kyle's eyes were probably on them both. He figured he should put on a pretty good show as he started to open his mouth a bit more, sliding his tongue gently over Bebe's as she breathed sweetly into his, tasting like peppermints. She had her hands on the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair as she started to push herself closer to Eric's body. Her warmth was so nice. He could actually feel himself start to get excited.

And just as quickly as it had started, Bebe removed herself from his lap, smiling down knowingly at him. His heart was racing as he watched her walk back over to her previous seat. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. Of course, once he'd sort of gotten a grip, he turned his attention back to Kyle, who was staring at him, a frustrated look on his face. Why was that Jew boy so bothered?

Cartman jumped a bit as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Shit...what time was it? He pulled it out and looked at it, his heart immediately sinking. It was only eleven thirty but she'd gotten home before him.

" _Where are you?_ "

He knew this wasn't good.

"Uh...well...Seriously...I gotta go," Eric insisted, standing up quickly.

"Aw, c'mon!" Stan protested, swaying a bit in his drunken stupor.

"No...I'm seriously...I gotta go," he said, shoving his phone back into his pocket, a flustered look on his face. Fuck. He usually just walked home but he needed to get there fast. There was no telling just how bad his mom would be tonight. He felt a pit form in his stomach as he realized what he had to do.

"Can I get a ride, Kahl?" he asked, a little ashamed. He did not want this to be happening.

"Uh...sure," he replied, confusion on his face.

Stacey got off of his lap, shooting Eric an irritated glance. He chose to ignore it. He didn't have time for her bullshit.

"I'll be right back, Stace," Kyle assured, standing up and pulling his keys from his pocket.

"Okay," she replied, tugging at him for a kiss. He complied before turning back to Eric.

Cartman nodded before waiving carelessly at everyone. He didn't want to make a big deal about leaving.

"What's the big rush?" Kyle asked, plopping into the driver's seat and starting his car.

He didn't want to answer.

"My mom said I have to come home," he lied. Well...it was only a half lie. He did have to be home because of his mother. Kyle knew he was lying, though figured he shouldn't push it. No one ever pushed Cartman for information he didn't want to share. It simply wasn't worth the trouble.

The Jewish boy did notice a significant worry painted on Cartman's face, however, and it concerned him. Normally when he would drive Eric around he would lounge in his seat, ensuring maximum comfort and minimum worry. His body language was the exact opposite at this point. He was sitting up straight, hands fiddling with each other in his lap, eyes darting back and forth as if he could hurry it up if he paid close enough attention. Something was definitely up.

Kyle pressed his foot down a little harder on the gas, speeding the car up. Eric didn't really seem to notice, which worried his friend further. The entire ride was silent; Cartman was too stressed and on edge to speak and Kyle was too worried he would piss Cartman off if he tried to figure out what was happening. There was just no way for either of them to address whatever was happening.

"Thanks," Eric spat out, hardly paying attention as Kyle pulled up in his driveway.

"Uh...sure..." Kyle answered, watching as his friend hurried out of the car. He hadn't even bothered to shut his door; he was obviously stressed as fuck.

Eric walked quickly to his front door and let himself inside, looking out briefly at Kyle as he shut it. That fucking Jew had the most endearing, perplexed look on his face. He really wished he didn't have to go.

Still, shutting everyone out was the best thing to do. He didn't want anyone to see the condition his mother was in. It was simply too much to bear.

"Eric...?" he heard his mother's dazed voice from the kitchen.

He felt his stomach lurch as he followed her voice, saddened by what he saw. She was half naked, only wearing a large sweatshirt. She looked strung out as fuck, which he knew she was. She'd gotten better about throwing away the evidence of her drug use, at least. Sadly, it was still glaringly obvious what she was doing. It broke his heart.

"Hey, ma," he said gently, sitting down on the floor beside her. She had large, dark circles under her glazed eyes. Her brown hair was let down and stringy around her pale face. Fuck...she was so fragile.

"I love you," she said, sounding as though she had no idea what the fuck she was saying to him. He had grown used to this.

"I love you, too," he answered, well aware that he could've said nothing without repercussions. He sighed to himself, putting his arm around her and leaning his head atop hers. This had become the routine. She would zone out, cry a little and he would hold her. Some nights were worse than others. Luckily, tonight she just seemed to be spacing out. He sat with her, feeling sick to his stomach as he always did for a few minutes before he noticed that she'd started to doze off.

As was now the usual, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs to her room. He laid her down carefully, pulling the covers up around her. She stirred a bit, whispering another "I love you" before completely passing out. Eric watched her for just a moment, a profound sadness pulling at him, before sweetly kissing the top of her head, whispering his own "I love you" and making his way down the hall to his room.

He sighed as he plopped down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling as though the answers he needed were painted upon it. Of course, they weren't. His mother was a mess; he couldn't communicate with Kyle; he still couldn't understand how he was supposed to really reach out to anyone, despite how badly he wanted someone to confide in. No, there was simply nothing. It was almost more than he could take. Still, he would shut his eyes just as he always did and coax himself to sleep, pushing forward to see another day.


	3. Routines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric gets into the groove of his life at home in South Park.

The next morning Eric participated in what had become yet another routine in his life: Sunday morning church. Even though it definitely wasn’t his thing, he didn't protest because he didn't want to give his mother anything else to be stressed about. It really wasn't all that long of a morning, but he couldn't help but note the irony of the entire situation. Why on earth was it so important to his mom that they both attend church every week while she was doing blow and hooking? It just didn't make any sense. Either way, he always went and afterward they would come home and have brunch together. They would typically chat about meaningless things; how was school? How were Kyle, Stan and Kenny? Had he found himself a girlfriend yet? It was all just pointless drivel, but he didn't really mind.

He had noticed that his mom had become pretty obsessed with the fact that she wanted him to have a girlfriend. He really wasn't sure what the big deal was, especially because they both knew that he had to dedicate entirely too much time to taking care of her for a girlfriend. Still, she asked him about his romantic situation pretty regularly.

After the routine was complete and his mom left for “work”, he found himself sitting listlessly on his bed trying to forget what work actually meant for her. It obviously wasn't something he cared to think about. As he struggled to focus his mind on anything else, his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by someone knocking at the door downstairs.

"The fuck...?" he mumbled to himself, forcing his tired body out of bed. He was always so exhausted anymore.

He scratched the back of his head as he made his way down the stairs and answered the door.

"Hey, Cartman!" Bebe greeted, her curly blond hair shining like gold in the sunlight.

"Oh...uh...hey," he said, blinking stupidly at her.

"Can I come in?" she asked, pushing him aside and entering before he had the chance to answer. Apparently that was her thing; asking questions she didn't care to hear the answer to. He could tell that she was the type of chick to do whatever the fuck she wanted; it made him uneasy.

Eric rolled his eyes before shutting the door and turning towards her, a questioning look on his face. She smiled warmly at him, plopping down on his couch and patting the empty space beside her. She wanted him to join her.

He looked at her for a moment, utter disdain for the situation apparent on his face. Still, he trudged over to the couch and had himself a seat beside her. She beamed at him.

"So...what? What do you want?" he asked, frustrated. He wanted to be left alone.

"I have a proposition for you," she answered, leaning back into the couch.

Cartman raised his eyebrows at her, indicating a whiff of interest. She smiled.

"I think we should date."

Eric straightened himself up, looking towards the ceiling. He was certain he looked as uncomfortable as he really was, and he didn't want to hide it.

"Listen, Bebe..."

"Hear me out," she interrupted, putting her hand on his leg. Eric tensed at her touch.

"Look...I know you're, like, all in love with Kyle, and I'm guessing you're not interested in me at all, and that's okay. I just think we could both benefit from the situation, is all."

Eric crossed his arms over his chest, a little intrigued, "okay well...I know what I get out of it...but what the fuck do you get out of it?" he asked, genuinely curious; he always enjoyed a good scheme.

Bebe smirked, "You're sexy and I need someone to fuck."

Eric couldn't help but let out an amused and surprised laugh.

"Seriously? That's it? You can't find someone else to fuck you? You know...like someone who actually likes you?" he was doing his best to sound cocky, though he knew he was in uncharted waters.

Bebe sighed, still smirking, "I can have anyone I want. You understand? I don't care if you like me or not...I think you're fucking hot, and I want to be your girl...even if it's just until Kyle comes around."

Cartman shook his head, sighing loudly in exasperation. This was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard, but he was having a hard time thinking of a good reason to turn it down. Bebe could see it in his face.

"What's the harm?" she urged a little more, positioning herself on his lap. She was straddling him with her legs, playfully toying with the blue scarf he currently had around his neck. He huffed a bit, though didn't push her away. Again, it felt nice to have contact with a warm body.

"I don't know," he started, shooting her an arrogant grin and twirling a strand of her hair with his fingers, "you know how these things go...friends with benefits and all...you might fall in love with me."

Bebe smirked at him, realizing that he was being arrogant and sarcastic. It excited her a little, his unqualified confidence.

"You might fall in love with me," she retorted, pulling her pink shirt above her head. She had a sexy, black lace bra on underneath.

"Well...this is a good start," Eric flirted, putting his hand to the back of her neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Bebe resisted and hovered just out of reach for a moment, touching her nose to his and smiling at him.

"This is going to be a hell of a good time, Cartman," she said before pressing her lips firmly to his.

And so began the affair that started it all...

…

3 months later

Kyle ran his hand through his fiery red hair before placing his ushanka back atop his head. He was sitting at their usual lunch table, waiting for the rest of his friends to show. Stacey was already beside him, eating a sandwich she'd packed herself, totally unaware of her boyfriend’s discomfort.

The Broflovski boy had been stressed as of late, torturing himself as he watched Eric and Bebe playing grab ass in the halls. They were always texting each other in class, making out every chance they had...it seemed like their relationship was really heating up. It drove him absolutely mad. He wasn't even really sure why it was such a big deal, but he definitely wasn't keen on the fact that Bebe seemed to be taking up so much of his friend’s time. Eric had been gone for so long, it really irked him that he’d gone and gotten himself a fuck-buddy so fast. He hardly hung around with the guys anymore, always seeming more interested in finding somewhere he and Bebe could screw each other senseless.

He could feel his teeth grinding at the thought of it. He was so jealous, and not only of the fact that Cartman wasn't available to him as often as he liked, either. He was envious of the passion they seemed to be sharing. Sure, he knew that relationships were like that in the beginning and that they all eventually fizzled out, but his was completely stagnant. Stacey never wanted to fuck anymore. Every time they were alone he would try. He would bring her flowers, take her to dinners...he basically did everything he could think of to keep her happy. When it came down to it though, every time he put his hands on her he could feel her cringe. She simply wasn't interested in sex anymore, and it was almost unbearable.

He was growing so tired of jerking himself off and fantasizing about her actually wanting to fuck him. Is this what all relationships amount to; lust, passion and ecstasy to boredom, depression and resentment?

"Are you gonna eat, babe?" Stacey asked, interrupting his thoughts. He already had a semi at the mere thought of possibly having sex in the eventual future. It was fucking pathetic.

"Uh...no...I'm not that hungry," he replied, offering her a half-hearted smile. She returned the sentiment before taking the last bite of her sandwich.

"Hey," Stan said, seeming to come from nowhere and plopping across from his best friend. Kyle perked up a bit upon his arrival.

"Hey."

Kenny also appeared, sitting down beside Stan.

"Where the hell is Cartman?" Stan asked, also a little irritated that he didn't seem to hang around with them anymore.

"Probably off fucking Bebe," Kyle sighed, resting his head in his hand.

"No...I think he's hanging out with us today," Kenny stated, grabbing a bag of chips out of Stan's lunch bag. They always shared.

"Pffffttttt," Kyle huffed, dismissing the thought.

"No, seriously...he said he was going to in Economics this morning."

Stan pulled two sodas out, passing Kenny his, not seeming to pay much attention to the conversation.

"Dudes," Cartman's voice suddenly acknowledged, sitting beside Kenny. He was already eagerly opening the lunch his mother had packed for him; he was still a little fat ass at heart. Despite how mad Kyle was at him, the thought made him smile. Cartman caught his friend's smirk and looked at him questioningly. Kyle could feel his face quickly get hot and averted his eyes.

"Babe!" Bebe's voice rang out as she ran up to the table and gave Eric a big fat kiss on the cheek. Cartman smiled broadly before turning his face to her and pulling her in for a real kiss. Kyle could feel his stomach lurch as he witnessed their affection. It really bothered him to see the two together; why the fuck was he so jealous? He couldn't understand it.

"Move Keeny," Cartman demanded as he started to scoot Kenny over.

"Fuck you, Cartman!" he said as he slid into Stan, also pushing him to the very edge of the bench.

"Jesus fat ass!" Stan shouted. They still called him that.

"Fuck you, hippie!" he hollered back, taking a rather large bite of his sandwich.

Kenny started laughing, which actually got Kyle smiling. Cartman noticed.

"And just what the hell are you smiling at you goddamn Jew?"

"Hey..." Stacey raised her voice, about to tell Cartman off for insulting her boyfriend. However, before she could finish Kyle had erupted in laughter. Everyone watched him, looking a little stunned. Bebe smiled at him, realizing what was happening before starting to laugh herself. The rest of the table looked around at each other before, all at once, Kenny, Cartman and Stan all started to laugh. Stacey watched, totally confused as everyone seemingly lost their minds in hysterical laughter. This went on for about a minute or so before everyone calmed down and struggled to catch their breath. Kyle wiped a tear away from his eye before looking up at Cartman and smiling.

"You know...it's really good to have you back," he stated genuinely.

Cartman, caught up in the joy of the moment, let his guard down for just a second, smiling whole heartedly at his friend. Of course, he snapped out of it quickly. Stacey took notice.

"Of course it's good to have me back...you guys were probably totally lost without me!" he stated, though still maintaining a somewhat very friendly demeanor. Kyle's green eyes looked at him, full of warmth. Bebe couldn't help but feel a small sense of accomplishment. It was working.

…

The last part of the school day had been nothing short of joyful. The boys seemed to finally be settled into a comfortable groove again and it was nostalgic for everyone, even those who were never a part of their little group. Eric bantered with everyone in his classes, pissing their teachers off beyond what their patience could bear. There was no hope of keeping control of any classroom once Eric got going, and it was the worst for the teachers that had classes with all four of them.

Of course, like all good things, the day eventually wound down and drew to its end, concluding with a long, solitary walk home for Cartman. He always walked by himself since all the rest of the boys had cars. He didn't really mind it though; he was never sure what he would come home to and it was easier to face it alone. He risked exposing his fucked up home life if he were to ever allow anyone to accompany him. Speaking of which...

"Hey...Cartman!" he heard Kyle's sweet voice ring out from behind him. He turned just in time to see his friend pulling up next to him, his passenger window rolled down. Little red ringlets of hair were poking out from beneath his hat as his green eyes shimmered. He was such a vision.

"What's up, Jew boy?" he asked, halting in his tracks.

"Do you want a ride?"

Of course he was offering a ride.

"I...uh..." of course I want a ride. I want to spend every waking moment of my life with you...

"It's alright...I've got to work off that big lunch I had."

Lies.

"Aw...c'mon! Take a day off! It's not a big deal," Kyle urged, a little saddened at the rejection. Cartman had rebuilt that wall he'd so easily let down earlier.

Eric looked down at his feet, trying to figure out how he could avoid taking a ride without seeming like a total asshole.

Kyle watched him, noticing that the gears seemed to be churning in his head. Before he knew it he heard himself speak the words he'd never dared speak before.

"Is it because of your mom?"

Cartman jolted his head up, hazel eyes wide. He had been called out.

"Oh...shit...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Kyle spat out, realizing what he'd just done. He'd exposed his one weakness, and if there was anything Eric didn't like it was to be visibly vulnerable.

He simply stood, his mouth slightly opened as he searched for some sort of retaliation. Before he knew it he was angrily spewing involuntary nonsense.

"Fuck you, Kahl! Don't you ever talk about my mom! There's nothing wrong with her! I just don't want to take a ride from you, you goddamn good for nothing Jew!" he shouted, his face getting hot. His capacity for friendliness had been exceeded.

Kyle averted his eyes, not wanting to fight. He knew that he had fucked up.

"Listen...just...let me take you home...I won't go inside. I'm sorry...I'm really sorry, Cartman. I didn't mean it...I was just joking...I'm sorry," he rambled, trying to cover the fact that he was fully aware of the hell his friend was currently living at home.

"Fuck you, Kahl...if I needed a ride I'd get one from Bebe," he shouted out before turning around, walking hastily away. Fucking Bebe. Kyle could feel a rush of heat rise from his chest to his pale cheeks. In a fit of rage, he jumped out of his car and started running after Cartman, hating him with all of his heart in that moment.

"Don't fucking do it, Kyle!" Eric warned, knowing that the two of them were about to throw blows again. He really didn't want to go there.

"Why! What're you gonna do! Run away again! Fuck you, Cartman! I fucking hate you, you fat piece of shit!" He screamed, his fists trembling at his side. Eric walked towards him quickly and got in his face, just a breath apart from one another.

"No...If you do this, Kyle, I'm going to beat the living shit out of you," he growled between his teeth. Their noses were touching as they stood alone in the snow. No one was around to stop them. No one was around to witness any of it. They were utterly alone.

"Now...say you hate me again," Eric dared him, his fists clenched at his sides.

Kyle's green eyes flickered for just a second. He would hold his own.

"I fucking hate you," he stated, a flatness in his tone.

Eric gritted his teeth and pushed his forehead to Kyle's, his eyes threatening. For the briefest moment, Kyle felt afraid. They stood this way, shaking in anger for a few seconds before the two of them felt a sudden cold washing over their trembling bodies; the world grew quiet. The rage was fading. Now they were just two boys alone in the snow, standing nose to nose.

"Why do you hate Stacey?" Kyle asked, not bothering to move.

Eric blinked, a somewhat dumbfounded look on his face, before pulling away from his friend and regaining some of his self control.

"Why do you hate Bebe?" he retaliated, somewhat avoiding the confrontation. Kyle should know better than to try and bring that up.

"Because she's taking you away from me," Kyle answered. Jesus, he was so blunt. It was one of his many annoying, yet endearing qualities.

Eric sighed, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. He looked up at the sky for a moment before returning his gaze to the frustrating boy before him.

"Don’t be gay, Kyle," he said carelessly. He was over this situation.

"I don't care how it sounds," Kyle insisted, taking a step towards Cartman. Eric backed up a bit, not wanting to get too close to him. This was getting dangerously intimate.

"Fuck, Kyle...knock it off," Eric insisted, putting his hands up in front of him as Kyle quickly narrowed their distance.

"No...I won't. I'm tired of this...this little fucking dance we've had going on since you've gotten back. Something is fucking weird...I don't understand any of it, but I gotta be honest...I'm really fucking jealous of Bebe."

Eric stopped backing up, allowing Kyle to be in his face once more, though not close enough to touch. That's how he always was; just out of reach.

Eric rolled his eyes and shifted one of his feet in the snow before letting out a deep sigh.

"Why the hell would you be jealous of Bebe?"

Kyle blinked stupidly before him as though he'd just been asked to explain quantum physics or something.

"Well...I...I don't know," he stammered, suddenly seeming to be more uncomfortable than Eric. The give and take in their relationship had always been this way. Eric smirked at him.

"Alright then...so...knock it off. You can drive me home now," he stated, walking past his friend. Kyle stood there, staring at the empty space where Cartman had been as he tried to wrap his head around what had just happened. After a moment he simply let out a frustrated sigh and stomped his way over to his Prius.

So it was that another routine was embedded into Eric’s life; his daily ride home with Kyle Broflovski.


	4. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, tension, smut, and love.

"What's the problem?" Stacey asked finally, completely exasperated.

"I…I don't know…I don't know what's wrong with me," he replied, his voice a little frantic.

She rolled her eyes, laying back on his bed and pulling the covers over her. She didn't want to be exposed to him any longer.

"I'm getting tired of this. We never have sex, Kyle…and when we do it seems like _this_ always happens," she said, venom in her voice. He couldn't really blame her. It had happened the last four times they'd tried to have sex.

"I'm sorry, Stace…I don't know what's wrong," he explained, trying not to be too defensive.

She simply watched silently as he scrambled to get his clothes back on. He was thoroughly embarrassed. He had to get his shit figured out, otherwise he was going to lose her.

"I'm uh…I'm gonna go downstairs," he stated, hanging his head as he walked out of his room. His parents and Ike were already fast asleep. It used to be so exciting when he'd sneak her into his room for a good fuck; now everything was just so routine and familiar. She never did anything different. Plus, she'd gotten to the point to where she genuinely seemed to have no interest in anything he could do for her anyway. Not even just sexually; she just didn't seem to give a shit about anything he had offer. He definitely didn't feel needed by her, and it was an issue.

He swallowed hard as he thought about it all. His life had just grown to be so frustrating; nothing had been right. Things had really gone south about a year or so into their relationship, but ever since Cartman had come back it seemed like it was simply tanking. He didn't know why his return seemed to have such a strong impact on his relationship with Stacey; maybe it was because of all of the things he had said about her. Kyle knew that she didn't like having Cartman around. She certainly hadn't hesitated to voice the fact that she didn't want Kyle to hang around him. It was something they fought about regularly anymore. Of course, he wouldn't stop hanging out with someone for no good reason, and the fact that her and Cartman didn't get along wasn't good enough. He'd never really done anything all _that_ bad to her.

"Kyle," he suddenly heard Stacey's voice ring out from behind him. He turned to see her. She was fully dressed with her purse slung over her arm.

"You're going?" he asked stupidly.

"Yeah…I'm going home," she replied, sadness heavy in her voice.

Kyle nodded at her, not really having anything else to say. She huffed a bit at his lack of response.

"You're unbelievable," she accused before stomping her way out of his house. Kyle couldn’t help but feel a little relieved.

He shook his head, feeling anger rising in his chest. He was getting so tired of her. Before he knew it he had pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and dialed Cartman's number.

" _Hello?"_ Cartman answered, his voice very hushed.

"Hey," he greeted, not really sure what else he wanted to say.

" _What's up?"_

"Uh…well…I kinda need someone to talk to…can I see you?" Kyle asked, scratching the back of his head. He'd never asked to hang out with Cartman alone before.

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone before Cartman slowly spoke, " _Uh…now's not really a good time, dude…_ "

Damn…rejected again.

"Why not? Come on…you never hang out anymore…"

 _"No Kahl…okay? No!"_ Eric insisted, whispering harshly into the phone.

"Well…" before he could finish trying to persuade him he heard his friend hang up. He shoved his phone angrily into his pocket.

"Fuck this," he mumbled to himself, walking into the living room and grabbing his orange jacket off of the coat rack. He was tired of Eric's games…he was going to go see what the fuck was going on.

He could feel his pale cheeks hot with anger as he stomped out to his car and started it up. The ride was short, so he didn't have much time to cool off, which led to some more cranky stomping as he made his way up to Cartman's door. However, before he could start pounding on it, he heard loud crying from inside.

He stood for a moment, blinking as he listened for what might be going on. After a few seconds of trying to process the situation he could feel himself calm down and he quietly made his way over to the living room window. He crouched down on his knees, lifting his head up just high enough to see in…he was a little shocked at the sight.

Liane was sobbing hysterically as Cartman was trying to pry a crack pipe out of her hands. She had black and blue bruises all over her arms and her pink shirt was torn, hanging loosely off of her thin body.

"Please, Mom…it's okay…just let me have it…I'm going to put it somewhere safe…" Cartman begged, kneeling down beside her. He definitely wasn't being frustrated or violent. He was simply pleading; it was heartbreaking.

"I'm so sorry Eric," she whaled, "I'm a terrible mother…I'm such a bad mother…"

"No, Mom…No you're the best mother. You're my wonderful, beautiful mother and I love you," he replied, lifting her face up so he could make eye contact with her.

She bowed her head in shame, still sobbing. Eric's hazel eyes looked up at the ceiling as he let go of her hand, seeming to give up on retrieving the pipe. He hugged her close and kissed her forehead, allowing her to collapse into him, crying into his shoulder. As he did this, his eyes made their way over to the window.

Kyle felt his stomach drop to the floor, and at first, he wanted to run away and deny that he had ever been there. However, found himself unable to move, despite the fact that he knew Eric could see him. He simply stared at him, and Eric did the same for a few seconds before nuzzling his head onto his mom's and lifting one of his hands. He signaled for his friend to come in.

Kyle's eyes widened, and he pointed to himself, trying to confirm that it was okay for him to go inside. Eric nodded.

Kyle swallowed hard, extremely nervous. However, he managed to walk over to the door and let himself in. Liane didn't seem to notice.

"Look, Mom…Kyle's here to see you," Eric said gently, lifting her up just a bit. She leaned away from him to make eye contact with the Broflovski boy.

"Oh…oh…hello there, Kyle," she said, her voice wavering.

"Hi, Mrs. Cartman," he replied, smiling warmly at her. Eric watched him carefully as he slowly walked over to the two of them, sitting beside Liane.

"Oh…I…I'm so sorry…I didn't mean for…" she started to explain.

"It's okay," Kyle said softly, smiling at her some more, "I just thought you might like some company."

Kyle watched as she tried to process what he was saying. She didn't seem very lucid.

"Why thank you…that's so sweet," she finally said.

"But…I didn't realize how late it was," Kyle went on, "I'm guessing it's probably time for you to go to bed now, huh?"

"Oh…yes…yes it is," she said, sounding a little relieved.

Kyle continued to smile at her to keep her at ease, putting his hand on hers.

"Well…I just wanted to say goodnight to you…and I know that you and Eric wanted to go ahead and keep that safe there…if you wanted, I can find a good hiding place for you?" Kyle went on, referring to her pipe.

"Oh…yes…yes that would be really nice," she answered, her eyes glazing over as she handed it over to him. He noticed Eric's body immediately relaxed.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cartman…I'll go ahead and hide this for you while Eric takes you up to bed, if that's okay?"

Liane smiled warmly at him before suddenly closing her eyes and collapsing onto her son's chest. She was done for the night.

Eric didn't look at Kyle at all as he scooped his mother up and carried her up the stairs. Kyle stayed seated on the floor, shifting uncomfortably as he waited for Eric to tuck his mother in. He had no idea it had gotten this bad. Sure, everyone in South Park knew about her, uh, lifestyle…but she'd always been careful to hide it from her son. He never would've thought it would reach a point like this.

"Hey," Kyle said softly as Eric made his way back down the stairs.

"Hey," he responded, leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was staring at the ground, showing his discomfort with the whole situation.

"I'm…I'm sorry I did that…I shouldn't have just shown up like that," Kyle apologized. Shit. He sure seemed to be doing a lot of apologizing these days.

"Don't worry about it," Eric replied, lifting his head up and making eye contact with his friend. He looked nice tonight. He was wearing a tight black shirt, blue jeans and his black snow boots.

Kyle watched as Eric pushed himself from the wall and walked over to him, snatching the crack pipe from his hand, "c'mon."

He did as he was told, hopping up and following Eric out the back door of his house. He stood on their porch for a second before throwing the crack pipe to the ground, shattering it into a million pieces. Kyle simply watched, quietly understanding the personal hell Eric had been hiding from the rest of the world. No wonder he was always such a dick.

"Thank you," he said quietly, catching Kyle off guard. Did Eric Cartman really just say 'thank you' to him?

"Your welcome," he said, his voice betraying his astonishment.

Eric rubbed his cold nose before turning to look at his friend. He had tears in his eyes, "I've, uh…I've been trying to get that from her for a while," he explained, "she keeps it on her while she sleeps…she always wakes up when I try to grab it."

Kyle nodded, not wanting to explain the fact that she probably had plenty more. Of course, Eric knew that anyway. He had to let him have this victory.

"So…what did you need to talk about?" Eric asked, seeming a little numb. He had to be that way…it was the only way to deal with things as they were.

Kyle felt his cheeks get hot. It all seemed so stupid now.

"Nothing, dude…just dumb shit. It doesn't even matter."

Eric smirked and shook his head, looking a little frustrated, "look…just because I deal with…this…it doesn't mean that you have to coddle me. For fuck's sake, you drove over here after I told you to fuck off so what is it?"

Kyle really didn't want to talk about it, but he could see that it would be offensive to Eric if he didn't.

"I got into it a little with Stacey, that's all."

"Oh…?" Eric asked, turning towards Kyle. He seemed interested. It almost bothered Kyle how interested he looked.

"Well…yeah…uh…she was just being kind of a bitch is all…"

Cartman huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "well…I've been telling you that since day one."

On any other day this would've pissed Kyle off, but…at the moment…he happened to agree with some of the crazy shit Cartman had said in the past.

"Look…you can't make fun of me, okay?" Kyle began, seeming to intrigue Cartman further.

"What?"

Kyle shifted in the snow, noting how they were alone in the fucking cold again. These seemed to be the moments they were at their best.

"Well…I haven't been able to, uh, get it up…so she fucking made me feel like shit about it tonight."

Eric nodded before putting one of his hands to his chin. He could see the arrogance making its way across his face. Here we go…

"Of course you can't. Who wants to fuck a bitch who's fucked everyone else in the school?" he said, smiling.

Again, he knew he should've been mad at a statement like that, but he wasn't.

"Jesus, Cartman, you know she hasn't."

Eric looked him over before sighing, "Yeah, I know. So what's the deal then…why can't you fuck her?"

"I…I don't know," Kyle replied, realizing that the two of them were actually about to get drawn into a real conversation. Eric had already made himself comfortable, leaning against the wall of the house. Kyle stepped a little closer.

"You don't know? Come on, Kahl. You know what it is," Eric insisted.

"No I don't," Kyle said defensively, "why would you say that?"

Eric rolled his eyes, "well…okay…what sorts of problems have you guys been having?"

Kyle blinked, not sure what that had to do with anything. Nonetheless, he answered, "well…you know…we fight a lot. A lot, a lot."

Eric nodded, "okay…what about?"

Kyle bowed his head, "you."

Eric started to laugh, "seriously…me? Why the fuck are you two lovebirds arguing about me?"

Kyle looked back up at his friend, suddenly opening the floodgates, "Because. Because she's being a fucking controlling bitch, that's why! She doesn't like you, so automatically that means _I_ don't get to like you either. I only get to do whatever is 'approved' by her. Whatever I do must be okay with her first! It's so fucking stupid! And then to top it all off everything is such a goddamn routine! We never do anything new, and even when we do our old shit I don't feel like she wants to be there with me…and frankly, I don't want to do anything with her either. It's all so fucking stagnant…I don't even really feel anything but anger and resentment towards her…and then I feel guilty about that…even though I _know_...I fucking _know_ for a _fact_ that she feels exactly the same way!"

Eric smirked at him, his arms still folded across his chest. Kyle blinked at him, waiting for a response.

"Well…what? Anything to say, fat boy?" he asked, a little irritated that a goddamn smirk was the response his friend had to him opening up.

"Nothing…I'm just proud of you, that's all."

"You're proud of me?" Kyle asked, further pissed off.

"Yeah…I'm proud of you."

"Why? Why on earth would you be proud of me?"

"Because," Eric responded, "my little monster finally grew a pair!"

Kyle simply looked at him, a questioning look in his eyes. Eric smiled again, finally uncrossing his arms and placing his hands back into his pockets. He liked his now casual stance much more…he wasn't putting on heirs.

"Why are we talking about this?" Kyle asked, frustrated.

A confused look made its way across Eric's face, which surprised his friend, "what do you mean?"

"I mean…after what just happened…why are we talking about me and my stupid fucking girl problems?"

"Because…I figured it's the least I could do after you didn't fucking pussy out and run away tonight…"

Kyle simply stared at Eric, realizing what was happening.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone, Eric," he said, assuring him.

Eric shifted uncomfortably before looking back up at his friend, "I know."

Kyle smiled at him warmly, and Eric responded with a somewhat uncomfortable smile.

"You know…people wouldn't judge you as much as you would think, Cartman."

Eric shook his head, surprised the Jew couldn't figure it out. It was pretty goddamn simple.

"I'm not protecting me, Kyle."

He nodded. Of course he wasn't. It was true…if word got around all of the judgment would've been passed to Liane. He knew there was no way Cartman would let that happen.

"You know…I'm proud of you, too," Kyle said, absolutely genuine.

Eric scratched the back of his head and smiled, "I know that, too."

"Well…uh…" Kyle shifted uncomfortably, "I guess I should go then…I wasn't exactly invited."

Suddenly Eric hopped up and away from the wall, walking up to Kyle, "it's okay…you don't have to go…" he said, almost pleading.

Kyle was a little shocked at the response, but quickly processed it. They stood together for just a second before Kyle put his hand to Eric's cheek, "I'll stay…I'll stay if you want me to."

Eric swallowed hard at his friend's touch, feeling a pit forming in the bottom of his stomach.

"Fuck…I can't fucking take this anymore," he blurted before grabbing the back of Kyle's head and pulling his face to his, kissing him forcefully.

Kyle's eyes were wide and, at first, he pushed against Eric's chest. However, he was unable to force him off and after a moment he closed his eyes and opened his mouth, breathing heavily as he pushed his tongue into Eric's mouth.

The Jewish boy whimpered quietly as Eric picked him up. He responded by wrapping his thin legs around Cartman, clawing at the back of his head as he kissed him excitedly. Eric turned them both around pushing him into the wall of his house. The two boys frantically pulled and clawed at one another, exploring each other's mouths forcefully before Eric pushed Kyle off of him. At first, his emerald eyes got wide, thinking that Eric wasn't into it anymore, until his friend had gotten on his knees and unbuttoned his pants.

"Shit…Eric…" he whispered between breaths, feeling like he had to protest.

"Shut up, Jew," he instructed before starting to go down on his old friend.

Kyle rolled his lovely green eyes upward and fluttered his lids closed at the feel of his friend's warm mouth. It was literally the most exciting thing he'd ever experienced in his entire young life. He felt the heat of danger pumping through his veins as he moaned blissfully. This lasted for a few minutes before Eric hopped back up.

"What do you want to do to me?" Eric asked.

Kyle's normally pale face was completely flushed and Eric was pleased to see beads of sweat on his skin. He was into it.

"Come on, fat ass…" he whispered, a little breathless, as he grabbed Eric's hand and led him in the house to the living room, "get on the couch."

"Hmmm…no please?" Eric teased, though did as he was instructed.

Kyle smirked at him, still looking out of his element, "what do we have here for, uh…you know…lube wise?"

Eric smiled at him, finding how uncomfortable he was to be enduring.

"There's lotion in the kitchen," he instructed, pointing.

Kyle nodded before walking into the kitchen and spotting a small tube of unscented lotion on the table. It must've been Liane's, which was a little weird. Regardless, he snatched it up and went back into the living room, still terribly excited.

"Okay…lay down," Kyle instructed, whispering. He felt like the whole world would hear them if he spoke too loudly.

"Yes, ma'am," Cartman teased some more. Kyle smirked again…he kind of liked how playful he was being. It was cute.

"Okay…" he said, pulling Cartman's jeans down, "are you ready?"

Eric nodded and waved his hand at him, signaling him to hurry the fuck up.

Kyle smiled, applying the lotion to himself before starting to go inside of his friend. Eric let out a few small moans as Kyle eased himself in. It hurt a quite a bit, but he was definitely being sensitive to that.

Kyle was totally entranced as he watched the vulnerability on Eric's face. He looked almost angelic as he showed the pain he was feeling, softly moaning with every move. Kyle was slow, watching his friend's face the entire time for cues. It was intoxicating, how good it felt. It was all warm, and gentle…much different from the frantic ravaging they'd done to one another earlier.

This was far more serious…far more intimate. They were trusting one another entirely now, and it was very blatant on Eric's lovely face just how much of a big deal this was. This was, in fact, the most honest moment he'd ever spent with Cartman, and it felt like a drug he had to have more of.

"You okay?" Kyle whispered into Eric's ear, nuzzling his face as he slowly moved inside him.

Eric lifted his chin as Kyle slid his hand beneath it, pushing his face closer. They were both drenched in sweat, breathing heavily.

"I'm going to cum," he responded quietly as he worked on himself.

Kyle nodded and kissed his friend's cheek, speeding up just a touch. Cartman started to climax first, shuddering violently beneath him and whimpering in a vulnerable tone Kyle had never heard from him before. It felt so good and it was so stimulating to watch him that Kyle followed seconds after. He shook, his eyes shut tight as he experienced the single most intense orgasm he'd ever felt in his life.

"Oh…" he spat out before simply collapsing on top of Eric, completely exhausted.

They breathed heavily together, basking in the afterglow for a few moments.

"Kahl…" Eric said softly as he sat up. Kyle sat up as well, looking questioningly at his friend.

"What is it?"

He watched, realizing that Eric was extremely uncomfortable with whatever he had to say. Kyle wanted to put his hand on his leg, but somehow, now that they'd gotten that out of the way, he found himself unable to. What did this mean?

"Will you stay here tonight? You can sleep on my bed…I'll use a sleeping bag…I just don't want to be alone," he admitted.

Kyle felt himself soften up again.

"Of course I'll stay…" he replied, hugging his friend close.

And in that moment, Kyle witnessed one more display of honesty before they slept that night. As he held him close, he began to tremble and, much to Kyle's surprise, he could feel tears on his neck as Cartman, for the first time years, cried.


	5. Is There Someone Else?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric & Kyle have been seeing each other for a few months. People around them are starting to wonder what is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this little re-write of my old story. It definitely has a very different tone and way about it than my more recent writing. I hope it is enjoyable! Hopefully I caught all of the typos and errors - I was pretty bad at editing back when I wrote this!

Kyle ran his hand through Eric's brown hair, watching quietly as he slept beside him. He had gotten his mother's permission to spend the night; of course, his parents weren't aware of the nature of their relationship. No one was. They had been together for months now, hiding it from everyone. The only person who may have been aware was Liane, but he wasn't sure. She was pretty oblivious as to what was going on in her own home.

Poor Eric. It broke his heart watching him, night after night, struggling to find a way to get his mother under control. Kyle knew there was really only two ways to handle the situation; continue on as they were, Kyle sneaking out every night to help Eric get her into bed, or send her to rehab. This, of course, left Eric with nowhere to stay. He couldn't take care of a house all by himself; at least not as far as Kyle knew. He would have to find somewhere to stay.

Kyle wanted with all of his heart to offer him a place, but he knew his parents would find out about them if they were to be together at his place. It was just too fucking obvious. Kids at school were even starting to have suspicions. In fact, just a few days earlier Stan had made a comment at him about him and Eric being 'butt buddies' or something to that effect. He wasn't sure if Stan really meant it, but he was well aware that he was jealous of all of the time he'd been dedicating to Eric.

He literally spent every free second he could with him. It was almost sickening how obsessed he'd become with him. He spent every waking moment worrying about him and longing to be with him; and when they were together he just wanted to ravage him; to be as close as humanly possible. They fought often, which led to constant, passionate sex. It was such an odd combination of hate and desire the two of them functioned on, but it worked.

One moment they would be best friends and the next they would be screaming at each other, cursing their very existence. Generally, at school, they managed to get along just fine. In fact, they were almost cutesy at school. All of the tension and anger in their relationship was stemming from Liane. Kyle was growing tired of the situation. Not because he was lazy or he didn't care...in fact, it was quite the opposite. He cared far too much about Eric to watch his mother destroy his life the way she was.

He had thought about talking to her, but realized sadly that it wouldn't matter. You can't reason with a junkie. You simply have to cut them off from their fix, wait for them to withdraw, and then try to rebuild. Of course, Eric would have to spend the rest of his life worrying and watching. You never know they will fall back into their old habits.

Kyle sighed heavily at the thought. The situation was basically hopeless.

"What's the matter, Jew boy?" Eric mumbled, having heard Kyle’s sigh. Kyle smiled warmly at him, leaning in and kissing him on his forehead. They had slept together that night, after which Eric had promptly fallen asleep. He was tired from dealing with his mother. Kyle had taken longer to fall asleep, but he eventually did and now he was the first one awake in the early hours of the morning.

"Nothing's wrong. I was just thinking," he replied. Eric smirked at him, opening his hazel eyes a bit. He was so fucking cute when he was all groggy. His brown hair was a tussled mess, which Kyle found to be incredibly sexy.

"Why are you awake?" he asked, his voice cracking from sleep.

"It's almost time to get up...I usually wake up before the alarm goes off," he explained.

Eric whined a bit, burying his head into his pillow, "Meh...I don't wanna get up..."

Kyle smiled, totally amused. He had grown to love Eric's whining. It was rather endearing. There were so many things about him he'd grown to love...things that he used to loathe.

"Lazy ass," Kyle said playfully, poking the back of Eric's head.

"Fuck you, Kahl..." Eric said, turning around. He had the biggest fucking grin painted across his face.

"You already did!" Kyle retorted, positioning himself on top of Eric and kissing him deeply. He could feel Eric's excitement beneath him. Fuck...he loved this part of the relationship...the part where it's all just incredible, hot, endless sex. He knew he had to enjoy it as long as he possibly could.

…

"Stan...hey...Stan! Wait up!" Stacey's voice rang out. She was a little earlier for school than usual. She was hoping to talk to Kyle before class, but was disappointed to see Stan and Kenny alone.

"Oh, hey Stace...what's up?" he asked, stopping in his tracks. Kenny stopped as well, looking questioningly at Kyle's girlfriend.

"Hey...have you seen Kyle? I wanted to talk to him...I didn't see him all weekend."

Stan scrunched his eyebrows up a bit. What the fuck?

"I haven't seen him and I didn't hear from him all weekend either," he huffed, irritated. He wasn't sure what was going on with Kyle, but he was getting pissed off. He was spending all of his time with that goddamn racist asshole Cartman. It made no sense! He'd always absolutely loathed Cartman...why the fuck were they best friends all of a sudden? Fuck. Best friends. The thought of that made him want to punch Kyle in his pale fucking face.

"What?" Stacey asked stupidly, caught off guard. It was one thing for Kyle to avoid her, but to avoid Stan? That was unheard of.

"There he is!" Kenny said, pointing behind Stacey. She turned and narrowed her eyes as she watched him and Cartman, together, getting out of his car. Fucking asshole. He was always spending all of his time with Cartman.

The three of them watched, irritated, as the other two approached. Kyle looked nervous; Eric looked like he didn't give a flying fuck. That was about right.

"'Sup dudes?" Eric asked, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. He figured he could get away with it in the parking lot.

"Well, where the fuck have you two been? We were all at Stark's pond on Saturday, and I tried to call you..." Stan asked, jealousy obvious in his voice. Eric eyed him, noting the tension. For a brief moment, he looked concerned, which confused the shit out of Stan. Why the fuck would he care if he was having an issue with something he or Kyle did?

"I know...I'm sorry," Kyle started to explain. Eric cut him off.

"Quit your bitching, Hippie. We're not accountable to any of you assholes."

Kyle's green eyes were wide as he watched, though he didn't say anything to shut Cartman up, which was unusual.

"What the fuck Kyle...you're just going to let him be an asshole and say nothing?" Stan demanded, stepping forward a bit. He felt like he was going to lose it. Who the fuck was this person, and what did he do with his best friend?

"Well...it's true, though. I mean...I don't _have_ to call..." he sounded quite sheepish. He was trying to side with Cartman, though Stan could see he was hesitant to really choose either side.

"What the fuck? Are you kidding me? What is this? Since when do you side with fat-ass?" Stan asked, his voice cracking a bit. He was pretty pissed off, which was stressing the hell out of Kyle. He hadn't meant to upset anyone.

"Aw...look Kahl...Stan's a little jealous!" Cartman mocked, elbowing Kyle playfully. He wasn't taking the situation seriously, which was making Kyle uncomfortable. Of course...was it really something to be taking serious? He simply didn't know these days.

"I'm not jealous!" Stan spat out, his cheeks flushing red. He hated to admit it, but he did love his best friend, and it hurt to see someone taking him away.

"Well, maybe you're not, but I am," Stacey finally spoke up. Kyle's stomach dropped.

"What the hell is going on with you Kyle? You don't answer your phone when I call, you're spending all of your time 'out with Cartman' which I know is complete bullshit. Who she? Who are you fucking Kyle?" she demanded, tears welling up in her blue eyes. Fuck.

"I...uh..." Kyle stammered for a second, not sure what he should say. He should've ended it with her months ago, and Eric had actually told him he should. He just couldn't seem to do it; it was so hard to hurt someone like that; especially if he were to be honest. Of course, now he was in an even worse situation where he was going to have explain himself not only to her, but to Stan and Kenny as well.

"Come on Kyle...after all of these years the least you can do is tell me her name!" she demanded. Eric shifted uncomfortably beside Kyle, which Stan took notice of. Not a whole lot made Cartman squirm, and something was definitely making him come out of his skin. He felt like he wanted to exploit it.

"Do you know who she is?" Stan asked, eyeing Cartman. Cartman smirked at him, doing his best to look arrogant. He could see right through it, though. He knew something.

"So there is someone," Stacey continued, now shifting her attention to Cartman. They were ganging up on him.

"Fuck you guys...I don't know shit about his filthy Jew love life!" Eric spat out, stepping back a bit and shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his black leather jacket. Stacey and Stan both glared at him, almost daring him to move, which pissed him off. He furrowed his eyebrows and stepped forward once more, even with Kyle, who was simply watching helplessly as the situation unfolded. He really didn't want to fight with Stan, so Eric decided he should step up and handle it for him.

"I will tell you one thing, though," he began, staring at Stacey, "if he isn't fucking someone else, he should be, because he could do a hundred times better than you."

That was about all she could take, she stepped forward, getting into Cartman's face, and slapped him hard. He turned his head with the slap, though quickly snapped it back and started laughing at her. He was pissed as fuck, but he figured he would cloak it by belittling her as much as possible.

Tears were flowing freely down her face as she turned her attention to Kyle, who was staring at her blankly. He didn't look the least bit fazed by the situation, and it turned her stomach. Where was the boy she'd fallen in love with all those years ago?

"So that's it, then?" she asked, wiping a tear from her cheek. Her voice was very unsteady.

Kyle shrugged, though not as if he didn't care. He simply wasn't sure what to do.

"We're done, Kyle?" she went on, trying to figure out if that was really what needed to happen, "We're done and there's someone else?"

Kyle scratched his nose uncomfortably before looking her into her beautiful blue eyes, "I guess so. We're done and...and yes...there is someone else," he finally admitted. Stan noticed an overwhelming relief wash over Eric's face at that statement, which made his stomach turn. Were the two of them fucking? No...no way. If Kyle were gay Stan would've known about it years ago. There was no way he could hide that shit.

Stacey nodded, allowing some more tears to fall, "well, Kyle Broflovski, I thought you were better than that...but I guess I was wrong. I was fucking wrong," she stated firmly before turning around and walking away from the bunch. An awkward silence fell between them before Kyle spoke up.

"Why did you do that, dude?" he asked, looking disappointedly towards his best friend. Stan suddenly felt very ashamed. He had let jealousy get the better of him.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to gang up on you like that...I was just...upset I guess," he explained, genuinely sorry. Kyle half way smiled at him to show that he understood the sincerity of what he said before touching Cartman's arm. Eric snapped out of a small stupor he seemed to have lost himself in and looked at Kyle.

"What is it, Jew?" he asked, touching Kyle's shoulder for a second. They were being...rather intimate. Kenny was starting to notice now.

"Let's go...I gotta study a little before class," he said, starting to walk away. He nodded awkwardly at Kenny and Stan, showing that things were okay as he passed by. Eric didn't even bother to look at either of them. He seemed to be totally absorbed in whatever it was Kyle wanted.

Stan and Kenny looked at each other, eyes wide.

"Dude...did you see that?" Stan asked.

"Fuck yeah I saw that...how the fuck couldn't I?" he replied, amazement in his voice.

"So...I'm not crazy then...you're thinking what I'm thinking...?" Stan went on, trying to be cautious.

"Well, if you're thinking that Kyle and Eric are fucking each other's brains out then I'd have to say I am!" Kenny said excitedly. Damn, that kid had no tact. Stan squinched his face up in disgust.

"Okay...seriously, dude...being gay is one thing. I don't give a shit if Kyle's gay but...Cartman!? Of all the people in the world...Cartman!?" he said, utter astonishment in his voice.

Kenny laughed, a cheeky look crossing his face, "yeah...I always thought _you_ would be the one he'd end up getting all gay for!"

Stan rolled his eyes and punched Kenny playfully in the arm, "fuck off Kenny."

Kenny continued to laugh, very happy with his observation. Stan shook his head before the two of them started to walk towards the school. This was something that had to be confirmed, and Stan was going to be damned if he didn't get to the bottom of it.


	6. Eventually

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle and Eric's situation grows complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man...I write very differently now. This is a tough one to edit! I hope it is good. I'm trying not to change a whole lot because this fic got a lot of good reviews when I originally wrote it, but I have since changed my style a lot! Haha. Enjoy :)

"Hey, Kyle...wait up!" Stan called out, chasing after his best friend. He and Cartman were about to get into his car to head home.

"Oh, Hey Stan," Kyle said, smiling warmly. His green eyes were full of light and it took Stan back for a moment. It was the first time in a very long time he'd seen such glowing happiness on his face.

"Hey...!" breathed out as he caught up to them.

Cartman was standing on the other side of his car, watching the two of them. He looked irritated, which Stan took a small amount of pleasure in. It was funny though...it was still sort of a trip to look at him. He had the same personality he'd always had, and the same stupid irritated facial expressions, but it was hard to connect him to the person he'd been before when you looked at him now.

"What's up, Hippie?" he asked, eyeing Stan. He couldn't help but note a sickening plunge of jealousy taking place in his stomach.

"I was just wondering if you guys wanted to chill later tonight?"

"Yeah, sure," Kyle replied, his smile beaming. Eric huffed from the other side of the car, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. Stan tried to keep himself from smiling. He knew Cartman would be jealous; that was probably why he had been keeping Kyle away from him. It was absolutely ludicrous; Stan wasn't gay so he had absolutely nothing to worry about. Still, it was fun to make him squirm.

"Okay, cool...my place?"

"Yeah...we'll come by in an hour or so?" Kyle asked, scratching the back of his head. It was a little awkward to be making plans with Stan after what had happened just before school.

"Alright...later dudes," Stan said, walking away happily. He was going to get it out of Kyle for sure...it was just a shame Cartman had to be there. That would make things more difficult.

"Well that was random," Eric stated, opening his door up and plopping inside. Kyle felt an ache in his stomach. He knew that Eric was jealous. He had noticed since they'd started dating that he was a bit possessive, and it was becoming a little difficult to deal with.

"Cartman, come on. It's been a long time since we've hung out with anyone else...I'm feeling a little isolated."

Eric put his feet up on the dashboard and pulled a cigarette out. Kyle knew he was a little bothered since he was going to smoke.

"Dude...do you have to do that in the car? My mom will smell it..."

"Pull the tampon out of your vagina, Kahl. I'll put an air freshener in here or something."

Kyle rolled his eyes before turning the car on and backing out of his space. Eric was suddenly getting on his nerves very badly.

Eric noticed and, for whatever reason, felt a little bit like instigating. So, he lit up his cigarette, puffed it and put it in Kyle's face.

"What are you doing, Catman...stop it," he said, pushing his hand away.

"What? I was just thinking if you're going to get in trouble you might as well have one...come on...smoke with me..."

Kyle was gritting his teeth. He knew Eric was just trying to piss him off...he had smoked a little bit here and there with him anyway. What the hell...he should just take it and get it over with. It would probably avoid a fight, which he could tell they were about to have. He was growing tired of how often they would fight. It was almost endless...of course, it always led to a glorious orgasm afterwards, so there was that.

"Can't we just skip this part?" he asked, taking the cigarette and rolling his window down. Eric shrugged as he lit one for himself and started dragging off of it.

"I don't know...will you fuck me just as good if I don't piss you off first?"

Kyle smirked. The last few times they had had sex Eric had let him be the dominating one, which he was thoroughly enjoying. It was nice to feel a little stronger than Eric, especially since he could be so fucking overwhelming sometimes.

"Oh, trust me, I'll fuck you just fine tonight," Kyle teased, though he knew he probably really would.

Eric blushed a little and smiled as the jealousy started to dissipate and the air between them relaxed. Still, Kyle he knew he had to address the issue at some point.

"You don't have to worry about Stan, you know?" he said, taking a drag of his cigarette. It was weird how easy it was for him to smoke now. He supposed it really only took two or three times to get the hang of it.

Eric took the last drag off of his and flicked it out the window before turning his attention to Kyle.

"I know I don't. I just...I don't like breaking our routine, that's all," he admitted. He was jealous; he was jealous as fuck, but the rational part of him knew that Stan wasn't gay anyway, so he wasn't going to bother with it. And it was true...Eric's life had become very, very routine and it was hard for him to get out of all of that. For Christ's sake, he needed _some_ stability in his life and he certainly wasn't going to get that from his mother.

Kyle looked towards him sympathetically, "we'll still be home before your mom gets home, I promise."

Eric didn't say anything, playing with his phone in his lap. He really didn't like having these serious conversations. He definitely wasn't one to open up, even with Kyle.

Kyle pulled his car up into Eric's drive way, tossed his cigarette outside and put his hand on Eric's knee, commanding his attention; Cartman obliged.

They looked at each other for a few seconds before Kyle spoke again, very sincerely, "I mean it...we'll be home in time to take care of your mom...I promise you."

Eric smiled, knowing that he meant it. Kyle never made promises he didn't keep; it was something he loved about that goddamn Jewish Ginger from Jersey. He smiled and leaned in, kissing his boyfriend gently.

"Mmmhhh...wait," Kyle said breathlessly as Eric broke their kiss. He was going to hop out of the car, but Kyle grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him in for more. Eric smiled happily between their kisses before being overwhelmed by the moment. Before he knew it they were kissing harshly as Kyle had hopped onto his lap and started pulling his pants off. This was absolutely crazy...they were in his driveway where anyone could walk by and see them. He had to admit though, it was pretty exciting.

"Fuck, Kyle..." he said, having trouble catching his breath as his boyfriend hoisted him up and let himself inside of him, desperately grabbing at him in the process.

"Ssssshhhh," he insisted, pushing his lips back into Eric's. He was insatiable, and Eric found it very easy to submit to him when he was like this. Kyle was thoroughly pleased with the delicate moans Eric would emit with each and every push...he was always so vulnerable when they had sex. It was such a rare thing to see and he relished every single goddamn moment of it. He craved it more than he cared to admit. He wanted to have Eric entirely under his thumb, and in these moments he definitely was. His cheeks would always flush and his eyes would always be closed as he let him take control and asked him not to stop; of course, Kyle always indulged.

This was another routine in Eric's life; crazy, passionate, never ending sex with Kyle Broflovski.

"Eric...?" a muffled voice suddenly interrupted.

And just like that, it was over. Kyle and Eric's flushed faces looked up, their stomach's both heavy with dread as they realized Liane was standing outside of their window with groceries in her arms. Fuck...they had been caught.

"Oh my god..." Kyle whined, turning his head away. There was no hiding what they had been doing; they were completely busted.

Eric looked up at his mom apologetically, pushing Kyle aside and redoing his pants. He opened up the door, quickly looking around to see if anyone else was present. It was just his mom, thankfully.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage to say as he looked shamefully at the ground.

Liane blinked, looking into the car at Kyle, who had managed to dress himself again. The two boys looked utterly humiliated, and she wasn't really sure what she should say. She was never sure what to say to Eric; she really wasn't sure how to be a mom.

"I...I bought some food...I was going to make dinner this weekend," she said, blinking stupidly. Of course, she was going to act like none of this had ever happened. Typical.

Liane noticed the disappointment plain on Eric's face and quickly spoke again, "Kyle can come for dinner too, if you want...?"

At this point, Kyle couldn't take it anymore. He got out of the car and stood sheepishly behind Eric, tears falling down his pale face. He was mortified, and it was upsetting Eric.

"Please don't tell my mom..." he pleaded with Liane, terrified.

"Shut up, Kahl," Eric demanded, looking toward his mom. He was trying to figure her out.

Kyle shut his mouth, though kept crying hopelessly. He really was sick at the thought of his mom knowing he was fucking another guy.

"I won't dear," Liane assured him before looking back at her son, "why don't you boys come inside...we can talk."

Cartman felt a little bit of relief wash over him. She was going to acknowledge what she just saw? It was a fucking miracle!

"Okay," he said, grabbing Kyle's hand and leading him into the house. The two boys made their way over to the couch, where Kyle continued to cry as Liane set her groceries down. Cartman was irritated with Kyle's reaction, though managed to suppress it and put his arm around him.

"Calm down, Jew. It's okay...she's not gonna tell anyone," he assured, rubbing his shoulder and kissing the top of his head. Kyle still cried for a few seconds, though managed to get it more under control as he rested his head on Eric's shoulder. It felt nice that they could at least be openly affectionate at his house.

"Here you go," Liane's said softly as she entered the room, handing both of the boys juice boxes. Eric couldn't help but smile; she was treating them like children.

"Thanks," he said, trying not to seem too amused. He knew she was at least trying and he really appreciated it.

"Okay," she said, having a seat on the coffee table across from them, nervously looking the boys over. They were very obviously in some sort of relationship, as Kyle was leaning on Eric for comfort. So...it wasn't just a quick fuck, which actually gave her some relief.

"Kyle," she began, leaning forward and putting her hand on his knee. He looked her in the eyes, still holding back tears, "I won't tell your mom...it's okay. We don't really even need to have a big discussion if you boys don't want...I just want to know what's going on."

Kyle nodded before Eric spoke up, "well...we're kind of dating, I guess...right?"

Kyle looked at him for a moment. They hadn't defined what they had...were they dating? He wanted to be, he had to admit.

"Uh...yeah. I guess we are," he replied, a little shy in front of Liane.

"Well...that's lovely. I'm glad...if Eric is happy, I am happy," she said, though she looked at Kyle a little sternly as she continued, "but...if you guys are dating, you know that eventually you'll have to come out with it. To everyone. Including your family."

Eric looked over at Kyle, trying to get a read on him. He’d be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge that it was something he'd worried about getting into this whole thing. Sheila could be so overbearing...she barely gave her son any breathing room and he was aware it would probably devastate her to hear that her pride and joy was not only gay, but sleeping with Eric Cartman, the holy grail of fucked up delinquents. He felt a stab of guilt in his stomach; he was probably ruining Kyle's life by wanting to be with him.

"I know," Kyle replied, squeezing tight onto Eric's arm. He needed his support, "I will...eventually."

Eric looked down at his feet. Eventually. He knew what that meant. For a moment, he felt so angry his head was spinning, but it quickly subsided as he thought about it. Of course Kyle didn't want to tell his parents. Of course they were going to have to hide this relationship for as long as it lasted. Of course...of course that meant that it wasn't going to last as long as he'd hoped.

Eric swallowed hard, realizing the end was near.


	7. Tick Tock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rift occurs between Kyle and Eric.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super bite sized, but important to the story.

Eric could feel his face getting hot as he watched Stan, drunk off of his ass and whining at him. They had gone over to his house after their little run in with his mother to blow off some steam; at least that's what Kyle said. As far as Eric was concerned Stan could go jump off a cliff and die; fucking hippie piece of shit. He was being a real asshole.

All he had done since they'd gotten there was complain about how Kyle never wanted to spend time with him anymore, and how everyone was so stupid, and how he hated everything. It was like a blast from the past watching the scene unfold; he had gotten his cynicism under control for a quite a few years, but every so often (usually when drunk) it would all come pouring out, mercilessly annoying everyone in his emotional path of destruction.

"Look, Kahl…come on, let's just get out of here," Eric insisted, grabbing Kyle's arm gently.

His Jewish boyfriend was sitting cross-legged on the floor, trying to reason with his drunken friend. Stan was a big fucking mess, laying on his side and waving his arms around as he spoke with a heavy slur.

"No, hang on," Kyle replied, hardly paying any attention to how upset his partner was. Eric really was not only irritated with Stan's behavior, but quietly jealous of how much of Kyle's attention he was receiving. Even though it wasn't romantic, Cartman didn't like to share Kyle. He knew it was a problem, and he knew it was starting to get under Kyle's skin, so he was trying his best to keep his mouth shut.

Tick tock. Their time was running out.

"Kyle…Kyle come on…you can tell me anything…" Stan whined, rolling his eyes around in that pretty little head of his. Goddamnit he was hammered.

"I don't know what you want me to say to you…I'm sorry we haven't hung out as much. I really am, but it's nothing against you. I've just been busy that's all…"

"Bullshit!" Stan suddenly shouted, sitting himself up and doing his best to look Kyle in the eyes. He was rocking back and forth, probably without his knowledge.

"No…No…" he said, putting his finger to Kyle's mouth in an effort to quiet him. Kyle just looked at him, also becoming a little frustrated. He hated when Stan was like this just as much, if not more than Eric, but he had to try and calm him down. His family was out of town and he didn't want him doing something stupid while no one was around.

"Shhhh…" Stan said, still struggling to find his center, "You're full of shit an' I know it!"

Kyle didn't say anything; he simply sat there dully staring at his best friend as he yammered on. Eric was standing beside them, his arms crossed as he obnoxiously rolled his eyes. He didn't have the courage to tell Kyle he wanted to leave, but he sure as hell had the stones to make it known he wasn't happy with the situation.

"Stop it, Eric!" Kyle suddenly snapped, turning his head around and glaring at Cartman, causing him to freeze. His eyes were a little widened with surprise as he watched Kyle grit his teeth and turn his attention back to Stan. Of course he was giving his attention to Stan. He had always given all of his attention to Stan. That's why Cartman always had to be so fucking mean to him; anything to have a moment of his time.

"Fuck you, Kahl!" He shouted, causing the other two to look up at him, eyes wide with confusion. Kyle could tell his boyfriend was genuinely angry and he suddenly was overcome with a mixture of sympathy and anger. It was always so complicated with him.

"Eric…" he began, trying to keep his voice from wavering. Still, he was obviously shaken by the situation. He didn't want to be in between the two of them and he knew exactly what was going on.

"No…you shut up, Jew!" Eric yelled, his face flushing in with rage, "I've had enough. I can't do this…hiding like this. Fuck you…fuck you for being ashamed of me!"

Kyle felt a deep pit forming in his stomach. He was ashamed, though not of Eric as he seemed think.

"Eric…please…"

"No…shut the fuck up!" he shouted once more, grabbing Kyle's arm and jerking him up.

"Hey!" Stan suddenly yelled, jumping up to his feet, "knock it off, both of you!"

"Shut up, Stan!" Eric and Kyle both hollered in unison, neither of them noticing the other.

Stan shut his mouth and stared at the two of them, eyes narrowing, "I knew it. You two, huh? You two are together."

"No we're not!" Kyle shouted, not realizing the gravity of what he had just said at first. A long moment of silence passed between them as Stan watched them process helplessly.

Kyle's face, at first, was just blind rage. Though, it quickly melted away into shame and regret as he realized the weight of what he’d said.

Eric, on the other hand, instantly showed heartbreak. For a brief moment, Stan felt horrible for him. There was nothing worse than being denied by someone you…loved? That was it. He could see it now. They weren't just fucking…Eric was in love with Kyle. He swallowed hard, feeling a little guilty for trying so hard to cause a rift between the two of them. This was his fault.

"Eric…I…"

"No…Kyle. Just…just stop," he said, his voice filled with disappointment. He was completely tired of it and felt so much like giving up.

Silence took over once more before Kyle finally mustered up the courage to look at his lover, shame filling his green eyes.

"I love you, Kyle."

The Jewish boy's heart skipped a beat. He knew that, but it was one thing to know and another to hear it.

"I love you," he continued, "but I can't be with someone who's ashamed of me. We're done…" he said, his voice wavering much like it did every time he tried to reason with his mother. He had broken his heart just as badly, if not worse, than Liane did to him every single day of his life. The difference was he couldn't walk away from her.

"Eric, wait…I'm sorry…" Kyle spat out, taking a step towards him.

"Fuck off, Kyle," Cartman said, swallowing his tears and walking out of the room.

Tick tock…time had run out. Kyle was the object of his obsession, affections, and deepest desires for most of his life and the time they'd spent together had been so fucking fleeting. He felt like he wanted to die.

Stan and Kyle stood in silence together for a second before Kyle slammed his fist into the wall of Stan's bedroom, screaming as loud as he could. He didn't know what else to do. Stan watched, quietly wallowing in the guilt he felt for his part in the situation.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know…" Stan finally said softly, touching his friend's shoulder. Kyle stood still for a moment before his shoulders started to shake violently as he allowed himself to cry.

"It's not your fault Stan," he whined between sobs, "I did this to myself. I can't love him the way he loves me…I just can't."

Stan felt his stomach drop to the floor as Kyle walked out of his room, both heartbroken and angry.

Fuck.


	8. Mind Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle needs to know if Eric cares, so he pulls a stunt that takes things a bit too far.

The walls of his room seemed overwhelmingly dark as he listened to the thunderstorm raging outside. It had been a rough couple of weeks as he struggled with his mother alone and dealt with the awkward tension between he and Kyle at school. A new routine had taken place. Wake up. Shower. Breakfast with Mom. Cigarette in the parking lot. Fuck around with Stan and Kenny until Kyle slumped to school. Avoid Kyle. Struggle to pay attention in class. Go home. Force himself to do homework. Try to stifle his feelings and avoid crying over the bleak day with Kyle. Wait for Mom to get home. Get her in bed. Struggle until two or three AM to sleep. Repeat.

Little did he know, today would be a very different kind of day.

As of the moment, he had woken for school about an hour early and was waiting to hear his mother shuffling around the house. He had some homework he hadn't been able to bring himself to finish in front of him as he sat cross-legged on the floor. The storm was commanding his attention. It was so appropriate…he really felt like the weather was mirroring the turmoil he felt inside. He hadn't cried again since that day at Stan's house. No one had brought it up; he suspected not even with Kyle. Despite Kyle and Stan's close relationship, he understood Kyle well enough to know he was probably too embarrassed about his affair with Cartman to discuss it. In fact, at school, Kyle acted completely normal. He would joke and laugh with the guys, flirt with girls, and answer all of the questions in class. It was sickening how easy it was for him to move on. It really fucking hurt him; more than any physical pain he'd ever felt in his life.

"Poopsi?" he heard his mother's soft voice.

He lifted his head, surprised to see his mom already awake, peeking her head into his room.

"Hey, mahm," he replied, not bothering to move. It took every ounce of his energy to interact with anyone these days.

"What are you doing awake, Honey?" she asked, stepping in and quietly having a seat beside her son. This was unusual.

"Nothing…I just woke up," he lied. He had woken up after having another dream about Kyle. He dreamt about him every night.

Liane nodded her head and looked at the floor, knowing that her son was lying.

"Poopsi…I'm sorry," she said, seemingly out of nowhere.

"For what?"

Eric looked at his mother questioningly. Where the hell was all of this coming from?

"I'm sorry for what I've been putting you through. I know it's hard on you," she admitted.

Wow. It was the first time Eric had ever heard her even acknowledge the problems everyone knew she had. Where the fuck was all of this coming from?

"Um…thanks," he replied cautiously. He wasn't sure what the hell was going on, but he was giving her his full attention nonetheless. He had been waiting for this moment most of his life.

Liane sat quietly beside him before putting her arm around his shoulder comfortingly. Despite all of the issues they had between them, Eric really did feel relief at her touch. It was nice to see her acting like an adult.

"Are you and Kyle having problems?" she suddenly asked, rubbing Eric's arm softly.

He was quiet for a few seconds, mulling over how he should answer her question. He decided he might as well be honest about it; after all, what could it hurt? She would either help him or forget about it and go off and annihilate herself.

"Yeah. Well…I broke up with him," he replied, his body a little stiff as he adjusted himself to his mother's touch. It was weird to have her being so…motherly.

Liane nodded, still rubbing her son's arm affectionately. He'd grown into such a good, handsome young man. She had worried about what he might turn out like given his outright atrocious childhood behavior. It was hard for him growing up without a father, and she knew very well that she wasn't much of a mother. She felt horrible guilt every day of her life over it.

"Why is that, Honey?" she asked, feeling like he probably should talk it out. She remembered how hard high school and first loves could be.

"We went to Stan's house after you found out about us and basically he wouldn't admit that we were together to him. Stan outright asked him and he said no…"

"Oh, poopsi…I'm so sorry," Liane said, genuinely sympathetic. She knew how badly that could hurt; she’d had plenty of men reject her openly in front of friends.

"Yeah…and I told him that I loved him and he had nothing to say."

"Do you love him?" she asked, a little surprised to hear her son say something like that.

Eric nodded his head, looking at his mom with broken eyes. Her heart sank at the sight.

"Sweetie," she said quietly as he suddenly let out an uncontrollable sob, allowing his tears to flow freely. He leaned his head into the nape of her neck and wrapped his arms around her, crying heavily into her.

She felt an overwhelming ache in her stomach as she realized just how broken her son was and she couldn't help but feel a part of it. She had done him so much wrong and she knew that Kyle hadn't been around for weeks. He'd literally just been going through the motions to get through his days and it wasn't until now she'd bothered to ask him if he was okay. She was a terrible mother, and she knew it was about time for her to get her act together.

They stayed this way until Eric was ready to go to school, and she decided that for once she’d get herself together and take him.

…

"Fuck off, Kenny!" Kyle laughed, pulling on the strings of his hood, tightening it some more.

He, Kenny and Stan were all standing around before class, waiting for Eric to show up. Today was the first day Kyle had arrived before Cartman, which he had done purposely. It was bothering him how Eric would come to school and completely ignore him. No matter how much Kyle spoke up in class or flirted with girls or fucked off with the guys he couldn't get Eric to show any kind of emotion. It was as though he had completely stopped caring, and it sickened him.

Today, however, he was going to provoke him. He was going to acknowledge him, no matter how much of an ass he had to make of himself; and he realized he was going to have to do something completely heinous to get any emotion out of him. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it, but he had to try. He had to know that what they'd had mattered, even if it couldn't go on.

"Oh shit…look," Stan whispered, a little shocked as he looked behind Kyle. Kyle turned, also shocked at what he saw. It was Liane's car; she had driven Eric to school. Kyle felt a pit forming in his stomach. Liane was actually doing something for Eric; how happy he must be. It was such a shame he didn't get to share that moment with him.

The boys watched as Eric got out of the passenger's seat, a big smile on his face as he tauntingly looked towards Kyle before planting a kiss on his mom's cheek to say goodbye. He walked over to his friends, very nonchalantly.

"'Sup dudes?" he asked, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. He did this every morning. However, he was painfully aware of the fact that Kyle was there before him, much to his dismay. He didn't want to see him. Somehow actually saying what Kyle had done made him want nothing to do with him, despite how strongly he felt for him.

"Not much man," Stan said, breaking the ice and smiling awkwardly at Eric.

Ever since the disaster at his house he'd really been going out of his way to be nice to Cartman, which hadn't gone unnoticed by anyone. Eric didn't mind though. It was sort of nice to have the hippie suffering from such guilt; the more Stan tried, the bigger Eric's ego got because of it.

Eric smiled briefly at him before turning his attention to Kenny.

"So, did you hit that last night?" he asked, referring to a conversation he'd had with Kenny the day before. He had told Eric that Bebe wanted to go out with him and that he planned on getting laid. Of course, Cartman didn't really give a shit, but he wanted to show Kyle that he still had a friendship with Kenny and Stan, so he wanted to bring it up in front of him.

"Fuck yeah I did! I don’t know how you ever let that one get away, dude," Kenny replied cheerily. He wasn't fully aware of the drama between Kyle and Cartman since nobody had bothered to let him in on the whole thing. He just had his suspicions.

"Yeah…she can take a dick, but she's a fucking psycho bitch," Cartman answered. Lies…all lies. He'd never cared for Bebe. He had only used her to get what he really wanted. Still…he wanted to push his luck.

He did notice Kyle's cheeks flush as he listened. He was growing feverish with jealousy and anger as he listened to them talk smut.

"Hey, Kyle!" a familiar voice rang out from behind Eric and Kyle, causing them both to turn. Eric's stomach hit the floor as he realized who it was.

"Hey, babe," Kyle replied, putting his arm up and allowing her to nuzzle him. Eric felt like he was going to throw up.

"Hey, Cartman," she said, venom lurking beneath her falsely sweet tone.

"Hi, Stacey," he replied somewhat dazed. Kyle watched intently for Cartman's reaction. It was actually terribly apparent how hurt he was and he suddenly regretted pushing it this far. Fuck.

"When did this happen?" he asked, his voice cracking a bit. Kyle felt so dirty as he realized the situation he'd gotten himself into. He could see the heartbreak on Eric's face. His body language had entirely changed. All of that arrogance and false self-confidence instantly melted away to insecurity and pain. He had put one of his hands onto the other arm, squeezing as he struggled to deal with the situation.

"Just last night…Kyle called me and told me what a big mistake he'd made," Stacey answered, oblivious to the situation. Stan shot Kyle a nasty look, obviously angry with his best friend. How could Kyle be this stupid?

"…Anyways, after that we just sort of decided we could make it work," Stacey finished, smiling brightly and grabbing Kyle's arm. Eric felt like he hated her.

"Oh…uh…kewl," Eric said, struggling to compose himself. He hadn't meant to be so obviously hurt. Although, he was certain throughout the entire thing he'd been pretty obvious about how sad he was, "well…as heartwarming as this is…I gotta go," Eric stated, recovering some of his arrogance.

"Have a good day assholes," he shouted out as he walked away, trying hard to not run. He couldn't stand the sight of the two of them together.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Stan demanded upon Eric's departure, not really caring whether or not he exposed what Kyle was doing. Neither Stacey nor Eric deserved what he was doing. Playing games was so beneath him.

"I…" Kyle struggled to find the right words. Fuck. This was such a huge mistake. He'd probably just ruined any shot he had at getting Eric back, even though that was really what he was trying to do.

"You're a fuckin' asshole, Kyle," Stan interrupted before turning his attention to Stacey, "and just so you know, he's only using you to try and get to Cartman."

"What?" Stacey asked, her eyes wide with confusion.

"Stan…stop it," Kyle insisted, letting go of Stacey and shifting his weight between his feet. He was very rattled. None of this had gone how he'd expected.

"No…you stop it. Eric told you he loved you…doesn’t that mean nothing to you? Besides….it's fucking obvious you love him too…why the fuck can't you just face that? Stop playing games Kyle…don't be a bitch," Stan insisted before grabbing Kenny's hood and dragging him away.

"What the fuck, Kyle!?" Stacey shouted, shoving him hard. He stumbled backwards a bit, staring at her with wide emerald eyes. He hadn't meant for any of this.

"I'm sorry…" was all he could manage to spit out.

"Sorry!? Sorry!? Is that really all you have to say!? Fuck you Kyle! You go to Hell!" she shouted before storming off herself, leaving Kyle to wallow alone.

He had fucked up big time, but at least he knew Eric cared.


	9. ...But I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shocking event shifts Kyle and Eric's relationship.

Several days had passed since the incident with Stacey, and Kyle was definitely feeling the wrath of Cartman. Eric was acting more like the days before he had left, taunting and provoking Kyle constantly. They'd even come pretty close to blows a few times, but so far hadn't pushed it that to that point.

Nonetheless, they were now approaching the end of their last class, and Kyle had a deep pit in his stomach, anticipating the worst. The end of the day had seemingly been the hardest part for them as they all united in the parking lot, Eric waiting for his mom to pick him up. Kyle, despite how bad the situation had become, would wait to make sure Liane showed up. She always did.

And there it was. The bell had rung. He couldn't rid himself of the sickening feeling in his stomach; he knew something was going to go wrong. All day the tension between them had seemed worse. Eric hadn't even sat with them at lunch, and Stan had left to go sit with him leaving Kenny and Kyle to themselves until their return to class. It was so strange to see Stan siding with Cartman; he, of course, had seen the worst of their situation so it was understandable how torn he probably felt. As big of an asshole as Cartman was, he was still a friend to them all in the capacity he could be.

"Hey, dude," Stan said, a little shyness in his voice as he approached. He was clearly sheepish after ditching his best friend at lunch.

"Hey," Kyle replied, smiling reassuringly at his friend. Stan seemed to loosen up. No matter what, he always had Kyle's back, even if he didn't agree with him.

"You okay?" he asked as they started to walk together, a few paces behind Cartman and Kenny. They were all headed to the parking lot to go home; it was a part of their ritual. Everyone sort of had their routines, which Eric had taken notice of. There were just certain things that needed to stay the same, despite whatever drama was happening between them all.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just kinda have a bad feeling…like something's going to happen today."

Stan nodded, not really sure of what to say. He had to be honest, he had sort of had a nagging feeling that something was going to go down, too. He decided it was probably best to change the subject.

"Are you going to prom this Friday?" Stan asked, blatantly not wanting to discuss Kyle's stress. Kyle decided not to push it.

"Um…I dunno. I don't have anyone to go with…"

"So? Who cares? You should go…I think it could be good for you."

Kyle shrugged, "Maybe. Do you think Eric's going?"

It always threw Stan off when he called him Eric. It was just a reminder of how his affection for Cartman had grown over the last few months.

"Yeah, I already asked him. He's going by himself too."

Kyle nodded, a little relieved that he hadn't found himself a date. Maybe there was still hope for them.

"Well…maybe I'll go."

Stan nodded, reaching into his pocket and handing something to Kyle.

"I bought you a ticket in case you decide to go."

Kyle smiled brightly at his friend, "Thanks Stan."

He nodded and smirked at him, showing his acknowledgement before they caught up to the other two, standing idly in the parking lot for a moment. They would always socialize for a few minutes before Stan would take Kenny home and Liane would pick up Cartman.

Kyle watched as the other three struck up conversation, unable to insert himself. He felt like a wallflower when they were all together anymore, too afraid to speak up in front of Eric. They would almost always get into it when he did. Considering his nervous feeling, he figured it would be best if he just shut the fuck up.

"What's the matter Jew boy…don't feel like gracing the rest of us with your conversation?" Eric demanded, noting his ex's silence. He hated everything Kyle did. It didn't matter whether he did or didn't speak, he'd have a problem with it. He was so angry with him literally everything he did pissed him right off, and it was a huge source of tension for the entire group.

Kyle looked at him, fear visible in his eyes. He wasn't sure what to do, so he simply opened his mouth and stared at Eric with wide, uncertain eyes.

"Dude…come on," Stan begged, not wanting the two of them to get into it.

"No…if he's going to stand around here and wait for my mom to pick me up every day like a goddamn pussy then he should at least talk to me," Eric demanded, staring down is ex fiercely.

Kyle could feel his face getting hot as he tried his hardest to avoid conflict. Fuck his stomach ached so badly.

"Well…what do you have to say for yourself, Jew boy?" Eric demanded, the gruffness really coming out in his voice. It always did when he was genuinely angry, which frightened Kyle all the more. He wasn't playing around; he was very serious.

Of course he was…how could he not be? He was hurt, terribly so, and the reason for it was standing right in front of him refusing to talk. He figured he'd better say something.

"I'm sorry…I just didn't know what to say," he admitted. Stan looked at him sympathetically as he struggled. He was very torn between his two friends.

Eric huffed at him before pulling a cigarette out and lighting it, dragging on it profusely as he also struggled with the situation. He honestly didn't want to fight either, but he couldn't control his anger towards Kyle. It was damn near impossible for him to keep his mouth shut and just let that Ginger sack of shit walk around like nothing had even happened.

"Of course you don't. Christ, does it even bother you? Oh wait, I forgot, Gingers have no fucking souls…you can't feel anything, can you Kahl?"

Kyle simply looked down at his feet. Normally he'd be angered by Eric's slurs, but not today. Today he just felt ashamed and that, perhaps, maybe Cartman was right. Maybe he didn't have a soul? If he did would he have denied the fact that he was very much in love with him?

Fuck. There it was…it was the first time he'd admitted it to himself. He was madly in love with Eric Cartman and there wasn't a goddamn thing he could do about it.

He felt a sharp pain in his stomach as he struggled not to vomit at the realization. He was so in love and he couldn't have him. Not now. Not ever. He had to close his eyes to settle his stomach.

"Kyle…are you okay?" Stan asked, patting his friend's back. He was visibly upset.

"No…" he whined as he clutched his stomach, holding back tears that were nagging to come out. He literally felt like he had the flu or something he was so rattled.

Cartman was staring at him, taking note of how suddenly sick his ex seemed to be. He had to admit, he took a little pleasure in it. He wasn't sure why he was so upset, but it was good to see Kyle showing some fucking emotion for once.

"Alright…well…I have to get going. Prom this Friday bitches…I better see you all there!" Kenny announced, grabbing Stan and dragging him towards his car.

Stan shot both Eric and Kyle a pleading look. They both knew he wanted them to behave and not get into, and Kyle smiled weakly at him to show him he would try. Eric just smirked at him ambiguously, which made him nervous.

"So…you gonna go sit in your car and pretend to be busy until my mom gets here or are you going to grow a pair and hang here with me?" Eric asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

Kyle stood quietly for a moment before walking up next to Eric, hovering closely beside him. Eric nodded, understanding that Kyle was going to stay with him. They stood this way awkwardly until the parking lot cleared. Liane was pretty late and Kyle could see it was making Eric antsy.

"I can give you a ride if you want…?" he said meekly, knowing that he was going to be berated for it. Still…he wanted to offer.

"Oh you'd love that, wouldn't you Jew boy? You'd love it if my mom didn't come through and I needed you again…fuck Kahl…I don't need a fucking ride from you…she'll be here!" he insisted.

Kyle nodded and looked down at his feet. It was sad. He knew that, at this point, Liane was not going to show and Eric still relentlessly believed that she would. It would always be this way between them. Liane would get better for a while, be a picture perfect mom and then fall right back into it all.

"Kahl…" Eric suddenly said, a softness in his voice.

Kyle looked up at him questioningly, "what?"

Eric let out a deep sigh, shifting his weight between his feet before speaking, "If she doesn't show up…I have nothing left here."

Kyle furrowed his brows, "what do you mean?"

"I mean, Kyle…" he sighed again, "…I mean that if she falls off again…I'm leaving. I have no reason to stay here. I can't save her from herself…"

Kyle felt his stomach lurch, "w…well what about me?" he asked sheepishly.

Eric shook his head and let out a small laugh, "Fuck Kyle…you know I love you. I love you more than I thought was even possible…but if you can't accept me then I can't be with you. I don't _want_ to run, I just have to move on."

"What if I can accept you?" Kyle asked, turning to face Eric.

Cartman turned as well and crossed his arms over his chest, "can you?"

Kyle swallowed hard before speaking again, "can you give me a little bit of time?"

Eric put his hand to his chin thoughtfully, "you have until prom. If you don't have this shit sorted out by then I'm out."

Kyle nodded before standing on his tip toes and planting an affectionate kiss on Eric's cheek. Eric shoved him off playfully.

"Christ Jew…be more of a girl please," he said before smiling at Kyle.

"Can I take you home?" he asked, biting his lower lip playfully.

"Fine…but this doesn't mean we're together."

Kyle smiled brightly and grabbed Eric's reluctant hand, leading him to his car. The day hadn't gone nearly as bad as he'd thought it would; at least not until they reached Eric's house.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Kyle asked, noting Eric's discomfort. He wasn't sure what he would be walking in on.

"Um…yeah, okay," he replied, a little distracted.

Eric felt nauseated as the two of them got out of Kyle's car. Kyle stayed a few steps behind him as he put his key into the lock and opened the door. He couldn't see around him, but he did see how violently Eric reacted to whatever it was he saw inside.

"Oh fuck…fuck, fuck fuck!" he shouted as he ran inside, panic in his voice.

"Fuck…mom…no…fuck, c'mon!" he cried, tears instantly streaming down his face.

"Eric…what…" Kyle stopped in his tracks as he stood in the Cartman's doorway, his jaw dropping, "oh fuck…"

It was a horrible sight. Liane was covered in vomit, her body loosely hanging off of their couch. There was a bottle of pills on the table and a small, folded up piece of paper. He hoped to God it wasn't what it looked like.

"Mom…mom…no…please," Eric whined as he rubbed her cold arm, tears flowing down his face, "please mom…I need you…"

"Eric…" Kyle said, his voice cracking. He had started to cry too, "Eric she's gone…"

"No…no she isn't!" he shouted, though he didn't bother to move from her side, "she can't be…I need her!"

Kyle grabbed onto Eric's shoulders and shook him, "Eric…look at me…!"

Cartman gritted his teeth and shut his eyes before finally focusing on Kyle's angelic face.

"She's gone," he said softly before allowing Eric to lean into his chest and cry. They stayed this way for quite some time before calling the police. Time seemed to move in slow motion as they came, collected her body, questioned the two boys and left the house, leaving Eric and Kyle to themselves.

"Can you stay?" Eric asked. They were now sitting at the kitchen table, drinking some tea that Kyle had made.

"Yes…I can stay," he replied, not really worried about whether or not his mom said it was okay. There was no way he was going to leave Eric alone; not now.


	10. Something to Tell You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle brings Eric home.

"Hey, Mom," Kyle said, stress hanging heavy in his voice.

" _Hi, Bubbala. When are you going to be home?"_ Sheila asked.

She had called him because she was starting to get worried. It was already ten o' clock and he hadn't come home.

"I'm, uh…I'm not coming home tonight, Ma. Something happened…"

" _What happened?"_ She asked, a little worry creeping into her tone. It wasn't like Kyle to just tell her he wasn't going to come home. He always asked.

Kyle looked at Cartman, who was sitting on the couch staring into space. He wasn't really tuned in to what was happening, but he figured he should leave the room while he talked anyway. He walked towards the front door and stepped outside quietly.

"It's Ms. Cartman…"

Sheila felt her stomach drop. She hadn't really liked how much time Kyle spent with Liane while Eric was gone, and it seemed he spent even more time for a while there after his return. That woman was bad news. The Cartmans in general were bad news.

" _What happened, Kyle?"_

Kyle felt sick to his stomach. He wasn't sure how to break the news. There really wasn't a tasteful way to say what had happened, so he figured he should probably just be blunt about it. He swallowed hard before letting out a deep sigh.

"She’s, uh…she's dead…"

" _What?_ " Sheila cried out, entirely shocked. She had never liked Eric, but she certainly wouldn’t wish something like that upon him, " _What happened?_ "

"I took Eric home today because she didn't show up to take him home and, um…well, we got to his house and found her on the couch. She overdosed…there's a note on the table but Eric hasn't touched it. The police read it and put it back."

Sheila quietly stood in her kitchen, unsure what to say. Her eyes darted around the kitchen before landing on her husband, who was sitting at their table watching her conversation quizzically. He clearly could see something was wrong.

" _Okay…you can stay. But we should talk about this tomorrow…I don't think Eric should be at that house by himself. Why don't you tell him to come and stay with us tomorrow?"_

She felt stupid talking so practically about it, but just like Kyle, she wasn't sure how to appropriately handle the situation. Death, especially when so sudden, never seemed like it could be handled properly.

Kyle, in a moment of utter confusion and haste, answered abruptly.

"Yeah, okay…I'll tell him to come stay with us."

" _Okay Bubbie. Are you going to be alright?_ "

Her red headed son choked back the tears; he was going to miss Liane, too. They'd grown pretty close over the last couple of years.

"Yeah…I'm okay."

Sheila clicked her tongue, saddened and unsure what really to do. She felt helpless.

" _Okay. Call me tomorrow. You don't have to go to school…I think you should just bring Eric over in the morning."_

Kyle nodded to himself.

"Yeah, alright…I'll see you tomorrow."

" _Okay Kyle. I love you."_

He swallowed hard, "I love you, too, Mom. I really, really do."

Sheila half smiled, knowing he was sincere as she quietly hung up the phone. Kyle sighed, feeling overwhelmed and fatigued, before walking back into the house.

Eric hadn't moved. He wasn't even sure if he had blinked. It was so heartbreaking to look at him. He was leaning forward, his arms resting on his legs as he grasped onto each of his opposite elbows. He was staring at the TV, which wasn't on, and rocking a little bit here and there. His face was reddened from so heavily and his eyes were bloodshot. His brown hair was a mess atop his head. He was a complete wreck.

The Jewish boy slowly and quietly made his way over to the couch and had a seat beside him, putting his arm around his shoulders. Eric sat, unmoving, for quite a few minutes before Kyle found the nerve to speak.

"My mom said you should come over in the morning tomorrow. We don't have to go to school."

Eric stared blankly before slowly turning his head and making eye contact with Kyle. He looked so adult while his face was worn as it was, and it took Kyle back for a moment.

"You want me to stay at your house…?"

Kyle looked down, a little guilt ridden. He had been so cruel to Eric for no real reason other than the fact that he was being a fucking pansy about the whole situation.

"Yeah," he spoke up as he stared at the floor. He didn't have the courage to look Eric in his eyes.

"Kyle…" Eric said quietly, his voice filled with pain.

"What, babe?" he asked eagerly.

"I…uh…I really don't want to be alone…" he admitted, pushing his hands in between his legs and stretching his arms out. It narrowed his shoulders, making him look small and weak, which Kyle found strange. Eric had never been this fragile before; not ever.

Kyle put his hand to Eric's cheek and looked him firmly in his eyes as he spoke, "You're not alone. I'm here. I'm never going to leave you again, you understand? We're in this together Eric…"

Cartman swallowed hard, the stress very obvious on his face.

"I read her note…" he suddenly admitted, his expression practically breathing shame.

Kyle looked at him questioningly, "are you okay? What did it say…?"

"Nothing…nothing that can really make it any better, anyway," he sighed, wiping a tear off of his cheek. He was trying so hard not to cry anymore.

Kyle nodded, not sure what he could say. They sat quietly together for quite some time before Eric decided to speak up.

"Can we go to your house tonight? I don't want to be here…"

Kyle looked him over as he rubbed his arm reassuringly, "of course. I'll text my mom and tell her we're coming now."

Eric nodded, watching quietly as Kyle shot a text off to his mother.

"Kyle…" he said, once more sounding vulnerable. Kyle could tell he was about to say something important, so he set his phone down and gave him his full attention.

"What is it?"

A few more stray tears made their way down his pale face as he replied, "I love you. You don't have to say anything…it's okay…I just really wanted to tell you that I love you."

Kyle felt his stomach start to ache. Why would he tell him he didn't have to say anything? Did he really think that he didn't care?

"I love you, too, Eric," he responded leaning in and kissing Cartman's forehead affectionately.

That was about all Eric could handle. He couldn't hold it back anymore and, as he started to cry hysterically, Kyle couldn't either. They grabbed onto each other and cried, letting it all out. Liane, Eric, Kyle, all of the stress, all of the pain, it all just came flooding out of them.

…

"Gerald…”

"What?" he asked, turning to face her.

They had already discussed the situation and come to the conclusion that they were going to offer Eric the opportunity to finish out his senior year with them. It was important the kid had some guidance and a safe, warm place to live while finishing high school and Kyle was such good friends with him they really felt like it was their responsibility to take Eric under their wing. Besides, who else in that town would take him? He had always been such a trouble maker, which was no surprise considering the lack of parental guidance he'd had his entire life. It wasn't his fault he was the way he was, and Sheila and Gerald were both caring enough people to see that for what it was.

"They've decided to come over here tonight. Kyle said he has something he needs to talk to us about when they get here."

Gerald looked at his wife questioningly. What else could possibly be going on? Liane's death was bad enough news, he wasn't sure how much else he could handle. He was basically adopting another kid for the next three or four months, at the very least. That was assuming Eric decided to move out after high school had finished. He wasn't so sure that would happen either because there weren’t many prospects for that kid to go to college, that was for sure.

"Okay…are they on their way?"

"They should be here soon,” she answered.

It wasn’t very long before they heard the front door open; Sheila and Gerald both rushed out of the kitchen and into the living room to see the two young men. They both had flushed, tear stained faces and Eric, of course, looked an absolute fright.

"Oh, Eric…I'm so sorry," Sheila said as she walked up and gave him a warm hug. Eric looked a little put off for a second, though not irritated. He was just surprised. Sheila was never affectionate with him. He warmed up quickly though and put his arms around her, accepting the comfort of a sympathetic hug.

Fuck…he had to keep himself from crying again. He didn't even like Sheila, but her warmth and sincerity made him feel like he had to.

As they broke their embrace Eric tried to smile at her, but couldn't. Instead, a small amount of salty tears came out of his eyes as he nodded at her to show her his appreciation. She returned the sentiment before stepping back beside her husband.

"Can I get you boys anything?”

"No…it's okay…thank you," Eric replied, setting down a night bag he'd packed himself beside the door.

Kyle, seemingly out of nowhere, stepped up beside Eric and grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers between his. Eric, stunned, managed to grasp his hand firmly. Sheila and Gerald looked at their son questioningly as he swallowed hard and struggled to find his voice.

"Mom…Dad…before we let this happen, there's something you need to know."

Eric's tired eyes widened a bit as he looked at his boyfriend, not really sure if he was actually going to do this.

Sheila and Gerald both stood, frozen, eyes on Kyle wide with confusion. He was shocking everyone.

He took in a deep breath before continuing, "Eric is my boyfriend. We've been together for a while now, and I'm sorry I hid it from you. I'm sorry to you and I'm sorry to you," he said as he looked between his parents and Eric. Everyone stood quietly, giving him their full attention, "and it's okay if you don't like it. I don't expect you to be happy with this, but it's the truth. I'm in love with him and I can't help it…it's just the way I feel," he finished, tightening his grip on Eric's hand.

Eric was tense as he looked the Broflovski's over, unsure what they were going to do. He hoped they didn't change their minds; he really didn't want to be alone in that godforsaken house of his.

Sheila put her hand to her mouth and gasped and Gerald put his arm on her shoulder, seemingly trying to keep her calm. She wasn't really sure what to do. Kyle was gay? And not only gay, but in love with Eric Cartman? She wasn't really sure how to process it. She didn't even really feel like any of the flurry of catastrophic events swirling around her were actually happening. She felt her stomach lurch as she simply turned and walked up the stairs. The boys stood in quiet fear as they heard her bedroom door shut behind her. Gerald looked at them sympathetically.

"Are you mad?" Kyle finally asked, not so worried about his father. He was far less oppressive than his mother was and he had always been more comfortable dealing with him.

"No, Kyle. I'm not mad…it's okay."

He let out a breath of relief and felt Eric squeeze his hand comfortingly. He was being supportive, and it felt good to have that.

"Okay…" was all he could manage to reply.

Gerald shifted uncomfortably before clearing his throat, "well…I'm going to go ahead and talk with your mother. You guys have got to be tired…go on and go to bed," he insisted before walking up to his son and embracing him. Eric let go of his hand and felt a profound sadness as he watched Kyle receive his father's comfort. He would never have that again…ever. He choked back the tears once more. Fuck…he wished he could stop crying. He hated it.

As Kyle and Gerald broke their embrace they smiled warmly at one another before Gerald disappeared upstairs. Kyle turned to Eric and offered him a half-hearted smile. Eric knew he really didn't know what to say or do and he was okay with that. He didn't expect him to have some sort of magic fix all.

Eric smiled back at him before walking up and giving him a sincere kiss.

"Thank you…"

Kyle nodded before bending over and grabbing Eric's night bag, "c'mon…let's go to bed."


	11. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric has spent some time with the Broflovski's. Sheila starts to come around to their relationship and recognizes Eric's deep need for family connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) I'm surprised by how much traffic this little story has gotten. I hope you're all still enjoying the story. Almost finished!

"C'mon…it's time for school…" Kyle begged Eric to get out of bed. He had already showered and gotten himself ready and was now spending his breakfast time trying to get Eric to wake. He always slept late and was difficult to get moving; of course, Kyle couldn't blame him. He knew he was horribly depressed without his mom and things weren't exactly going amazing at his house.

Gerald was fine, but Sheila was having quite a bit of trouble accepting the fact that her son was gay. She was always very religious, and it left her conflicted. However, Kyle _was_ her son, and she loved him more than anything, so she was putting up with it. Ike didn't seem like he cared at all, which was a relief to Kyle at least.

"I don't wanna…" Eric whined, pulling his pillow over his head.

"C'mon…get up…we gotta go to school. Please…" Kyle begged, yanking the pillow out of Eric's hand and tossing it on the floor. That would usually get him going. If not, Kyle would always resort to yanking the blankets off as well. This morning, however, seemed to be a 'just pillow' kind of day as Eric rolled over to face him and sat up slowly.

"Fine…fuck…" he said before yawning and scratching his head aimlessly.

Kyle smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him.

"Good morning," Kyle said playfully, nuzzling Eric's nose.

Eric couldn't help but smirk a bit and nuzzled back, playfully planting kisses on his boyfriend's lips.

"Do we have a little time to fool around?" he asked, dying to have sex with him. Kyle was very paranoid about the sex situation in his house, though. Eric was frustrated by it, but couldn't really blame him. Now that he was living under the Broflovski's roof he really could see why Sheila put the fear of God into him. She was a tough woman, to say the least.

"No, you slept in too late!" Kyle replied tauntingly.

Eric sighed and put his hands to his head, "Damn…why do you have to be so fucking sexy all of the time?"

Kyle bit his lower lip and talked to Eric in a playfully breathy tone, "Can't help it. It's just the way I am."

"Fuck off," Cartman laughed as he pushed Kyle away from him, standing up and stretching himself out.

Kyle watched him, admiring his frame. He'd lost even more weight since his mom had died, which left him a little underweight. He still looked nice, though.

“Come on, go get ready."

"Yeah, alright," he replied, still in a small daze from sleep. He certainly wasn't a morning person like Kyle was, which he found amusing. The two of them were so different. They were literally night and day, but somehow they managed to be making things work alright.

It was strange, but Liane's death had really brought the two of them together. Of course, Kyle wished it hadn't have come to that, but he was grateful that he had Eric back. He watched as his boyfriend trudged lazily to the bathroom for a shower before heading downstairs to eat some breakfast with his family.

That was something his mom and dad had both always insisted. They must have breakfast as a family. Eric never joined in, probably because he felt it really wasn't his place to intrude on their family time. Still, every morning Sheila would ask if he was going to come and sit with everyone.

"Good morning, Bubbie…how are you?" Sheila asked as Kyle had a seat at the table. Breakfast was already laid out for him.

"Morning, Mom. I'm good…you?"

"Fine, sweetheart. Thank you. Is Eric going to be eating with us this morning?"

Kyle smirked. There it was.

"No…I don't think so…he hasn't showered yet…" as he answered, however, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Eric, fully dressed in his usual attire. He clearly hadn't showered, though didn't look dirty. He'd sort of mussed up his hair a bit, which Kyle found irresistible along with his black sweater, jacket and jeans tucked into his black snow boots.

"Hey," he said, a little shy, also catching Kyle off guard. Eric didn't really act himself around the Broflovskis. He felt out of his element and he didn't want to get sent away. He was terrified of abandonment, which wasn't exactly surprising seeing as he'd been abandoned by both his father and mother now.

"Well, hello Eric," Sheila said, a little surprise evident in her voice.

He nodded, trying not to make too big a deal of the fact that he wanted to join everyone. He was going to take a shower, but once he'd gotten into the bathroom he overheard the Broflovski's making their morning breakfast noise and he was overcome with horrible loneliness. Not only had he never had such a close family, now he'd never even have the opportunity to have it. He longed for it and, in that moment, he’d been so drawn to it that he just decided to tussle his hair, toss his clothes on and join them all for breakfast.

"Come here," Kyle said, smiling warmly at his boyfriend and patting the chair next to him. He and Ike had started sitting with a chair between them just in case Eric ever decided to come down and join them.

Eric smiled uncertainly before quietly sitting down. He was extremely uncomfortable and unsure of how he was supposed to act. He hadn't ever had a family meal.

"Here you go, Eric," Sheila said as she put a plate full of pancakes in front of him.

"Thanks, Mrs. Broflovski," he said gratefully as he scooted himself up closer to the table.

"Call me Sheila, Honey," she insisted, finally taking her seat beside Gerald. Her husband was smiling at her, proud of how well she was handling the situation. It had definitely taken her a while to process things, and he could tell she was still very uncomfortable, but he was seeing progress.

Eric smiled at her appreciatively, "Okay, Sheila."

She smiled for a second, keeping her eyes on her plate.

"So how has school been going, boys?" Gerald asked, taking a bite of his pancakes. It was ritual to discuss how things were going and lately, of course, the upcoming graduation had been a big topic of discussion. It was only two months away.

"Good," Kyle replied, "I've been helping Eric with his math…" he went on, nudging his boyfriend enthusiastically, "…he's doing a great job."

Sheila tried to ignore the contact between them. Up until that point, Kyle had been very careful about not touching or even being too close to Eric. She knew, of course, that at some point that would change. She had to accept things for her son.

"That's great…what did you get on your math test, Eric?" Sheila asked, still not bothering to make eye contact.

For whatever reason, as Eric sat there watching her, he suddenly craved her approval. He wanted to make her proud; he wanted her to be able to look him in the eye and be happy with him. He couldn't really explain it; no one ever made him feel that way.

"You knew I had a math test?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes…yesterday, right? Kyle told me."

"Well…you asked me, remember?" Kyle urged, trying to show Eric that his mom had actually taken an interest in his wellbeing. She didn't acknowledge it, but Eric couldn't help feeling a brief moment of hope. Maybe she would let him in.

"Well…I got a C…I usually just get F's so…it's kewl," Eric replied, pushing his pancakes around. He wasn't really all that hungry; he had just wanted the company of their family.

Sheila finally looked up from her plate at him, taking in the sight of this unfamiliar young man. She couldn't really connect him to the boy he used to be before he left. He was thin…actually getting to the point to where it looked a little unhealthy…and he had turned out to be a very attractive kid, surprisingly. She'd never thought in a million years he would grow up to be handsome. She sighed heavily as she looked at him, taking note of the sympathy welling up inside her. He was so lost and she could tell he wanted more than anything to be a part of someone's life. Kyle offered him that, it was just that she needed to get on board and accept things as they were. She was trying.

The thought of Kyle being intimate with Eric upset her on multiple levels. The most distressing factor was the fact that it was Eric. She had never liked him, and he wasn’t someone she would’ve chosen for her son. He was a mean kid and he had been consistently horrible about her family's heritage. She didn't quite understand how her son could claim to be in love with someone who had tortured him so as a child.

Of course, she had to admit, over the last month she was beginning to realize that Eric was a very different person. For one thing, he had matured beyond what she considered normal for his age. He acted very much adult, which made sense in the context of his relationship with Liane. That woman had always been such a mess, and she knew it would destroy her son at some point or another; she just had thought she would die from an accidental overdose, not an intentional one.

Another thing about Eric that surprised her was how respectful of her boundaries he seemed to be. He was very timid and always asked permission before doing anything out of the ordinary. He never touched Kyle; no kissing, no hand holding, not even so much as flirting in front of her, which she appreciated. At some point she knew she would be able to deal with it, but she was relieved for the time he was giving her. It was something she hadn't expected when it had all come out.

Lastly, and perhaps the biggest thing that surprised her was that, even though Eric was always respectful of her boundaries, she could literally _see_ in his eyes how much he was in love with Kyle; the sincerity in his voice when he spoke with him; the warm affection sparkling in his eyes; the caring and gentle way that he handled him. It was absolutely amazing to her. She'd never thought he was even capable of opening himself up to someone the way he had with her son. It was another thing she was growing to like about him.

"Good job Eric…I'm very proud of you," she finally answered, looking up at him and smiling warmly. She looked out of her element, but Kyle couldn't help himself from beaming. She was making an obvious effort, and he was so appreciative of it. She smiled back at him, a little more comfortably than she had at Eric.

Eric looked up at her, eyes wide. She was proud of him? Wow…he hadn't ever thought he would hear those words come out of Sheila Broflovski's mouth. He managed to pull it together, smiling genuinely back at her, "Thanks."

She nodded, taking a few more bites of her pancakes. The rest of the morning was spent discussing graduation and what they planned to do. Eric didn't speak up at all for the remainder of the breakfast, but for the first time in a long time, he was beginning to feel a part of something.


	12. Help!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small, kind act from Sheila means the world to Eric.

"Fuck…" Eric muttered under his breath. He was sitting downstairs at the kitchen table alone. Everyone else had gone to sleep, including Kyle. He was studying for his math final. Graduation was only another two weeks away and seniors were having their last week now. He had to do good if he wanted to go to college, which was something he and Kyle had discussed. He was trying to get a decent enough GPA to attend Colorado State with Kyle, who wanted Eric to come and live with him. Of course, Eric would go whether he was accepted or not, but he would really like to be able to attend the university.

Unfortunately, at the moment, he was over-stressing himself and had been sitting at the table for hours trying to cram it all into his head. He hadn't waited until last minute, either. He was just having a hard time with it.

"Eric…what are you doing awake?" Sheila's voice interrupted him. He hadn't even heard her enter the kitchen.

He quickly jolted his head toward her, a little panicked by the sudden, uninvited company. However, he managed to calm himself, attempting to smile at her unenthusiastically. The stress he was under was very apparent on his face.

"Oh…hi, Sheila," he said meekly before resting his head on his hand, "I'm just studying for tomorrow's math final."

Sheila nodded her head, tightening her robe around her waist. He watched her timidly as she yawned and pulled out the chair beside him to sit down.

"What are you having trouble with, dear?"

"Oh, uh…well…these here…" he said, pointing to a group of word problems.

"Oh…word problems. Well…the trick to these, Eric, is that you have to just map out what each number means…at least that's how I always did it," she explained, picking up his pencil and sliding his notebook in front of her. He was bewildered as he watched her draw columns, categorize them, and write the numbers into their respective places. Why was she doing this for him? Wasn't she tired?

"Now, see how there's nothing in the speed column here?" she asked, pointing towards the empty column.

"Yeah, okay…" he said, though he mostly kept looking at her face. He could see bags under her eyes, indicating how tired she was. She really should've been in bed instead of worrying about him; that's what his mother always did.

"Okay…so that's what we're trying to find…now go ahead and read the problem and write them out according to these columns, okay?" she instructed, handing the pencil to Eric.

"Okay," he said, still entirely bewildered, as he took it from her and read the problem to himself. As he did so, he looked at the columns and wrote out the problem according to the paragraph.

"Very good…now all you have to do is solve it…are you okay on that part?"

"Yeah…yeah, this is pretty easy," he replied, a small amount of excitement creeping into his voice.

He quickly solved the problem and set his pencil down, smiling at her broadly.

"See…there you go…sometimes you just have to look at things a little differently," Sheila assured, offering him a warm smile.

Eric gazed at her for a moment before sighing and leaning back in his chair.

"You must be tired…why did you do that for me?"

Sheila blinked her eyes in confusion, "well…because, you needed help. You shouldn't sit down here stressing all night."

Eric looked her over for a few more seconds before smiling at her, "wow…so that's how things are here, huh?"

Sheila suddenly realized that Eric had never had anyone do something like for him before, and it broke her heart. It really was such a big deal to him that she had taken five minutes out of her night to share a little bit of knowledge with him.

"Eric, I'm really glad you're here. I know that I haven't exactly been the most supportive but…well…I'm coming around, dear. I know that you're really not sure what to do, but we're so happy to have you, we really are. _I_ am happy to have you."

Have him? She considered him hers? He blinked at her stupidly as she sighed and gave him a knowing smile.

"Eric…you're a member of this family now, okay? I hope that you're as happy to be here as we are to have you."

He halfway smiled at her, feeling a little more comfortable with the situation.

"I'm as happy as I can be right now," he assured, wiggling his feet around beneath the table.

She folded her arms across her stomach and leaned forward a bit, maintaining eye contact with Eric as she did so. He was a little taken aback as she put her hand over his, which was resting on his knee.

"Kyle loves you," she said suddenly, a sincere look in her eyes.

Eric looked her over, noting how aged she looked in her tired, makeup free state. It was a little sad to see how old their parents were getting, though he wished he could watch his own mother continue to grow old.

"I know. I love him, too," he admitted, nodding his head.

"I can see that. I just, uh…I just wanted to let you know you guys don't have to be so…rigid…around me. I'm okay with it…I really am."

Eric looked her over some more, trying to decide if she was sincere. He was always suspicious of people since most of them had screwed him over. However, Sheila had seemingly been pretty up front with how she felt, so he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Are you sure it's okay?" he asked sincerely. He was admittedly concerned about what she thought of him. Over the past few months he had he started to have a pretty strong affection for the Broflovkskis, despite his best efforts not to. They had done so much for him, more than he ever could’ve asked for.

"Yes, Eric. I'm sure," she said, squeezing his hand before letting go and leaning back in her chair.

He smiled at her, leaning back in his seat a little further, too.

"Well…thank you for this. It was, uh…it was really nice."

She chuckled a bit, knowing that it wasn't an easy thing for him to say. She stood up slowly and put her hand on his shoulder before leaning in and kissing him gently on the top of his head.

"Go get some rest, Eric," she said, yawning once more and squeezing his shoulder before walking away. He listened to her footsteps as she headed up the stairs, smiling to himself. It felt really nice to have her support. He'd been working diligently to earn it since he'd moved in.

He basked in the moment for a few seconds before shutting his math book and yawning as well, heading up the stairs to Kyle's room. He was careful to be quiet as he entered, not wanting to wake his boyfriend. He tiptoed to the bed and slid under the covers,

"Mmmnnnnhhh…Eric?" Kyle said, sleep still heavy in his voice as he fluttered he eyes open just a bit.

"Hey…sorry I was just studying for tomorrow," he whispered, pulling the covers up over his shoulders and nuzzling into their shared pillow.

Kyle smiled at him warmly, eyes half open as he spoke.

"Okay…I'll see you in the morning…" he said faintly.

"See you in the morning," Eric whispered before kissing Kyle gently on his soft lips.

Kyle smiled and let out a tired whimper before allowing himself to fall asleep once more. Eric looked him over for a few moments, pulling him close and nuzzling his nose against his before letting sleep take over. Things were really starting to look up.


	13. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys graduate and Eric realizes a thing or two about life.

The four boys excitedly waited their turn to have their name called out and diploma given to them in front of all the South Park High School's families. It was here. It was finally here…graduation! From this day forward they would no longer be children. They would all be adults; some going to college, others just working and others yet just pissing away their lives. No matter what road they chose, however, today symbolized their official entry into adulthood. It was bittersweet as they inched closer to the stage. The transition into adulthood was so exciting, but it was also distressing to know that they would no longer all go to school together, live in the same town and spend their days messing around with each other. All these wonderful kids who'd grown up in this quiet little redneck, po-dunk, white trash, mountain town were about to move on with their lives, for better or for worse.

Eric watched as they went up, one by one. He approached the stage, feeling a warmth he hadn't felt in years. Here he was, slowly inching forward and away from the past as he waited in line with his three best friends. Stan was even sober for the event, which had been amazing. In fact, he was currently looking toward them and smiling happily at the three of them. They were all huddled together and, up until this moment, had been joking and laughing. Now, however, they were almost at their destination, and they found themselves speechless.

Kyle was the first of the group to be called; Eric smiled, love filling his heart as he watched Kyle walk up. It was his turn to shine, and shine he did.

"Kyle Broflovski…congratulations!"

As Kyle strode across the stage his family stood up and clapped feverishly. The school seemed to explode with excitement as he took his diploma and got his photo. He looked so stunning, his smile as wide as it had ever been. Eric couldn't help but smile and cheer as well. His boyfriend, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, had taken the first step for them towards their future, and it was an amazing feeling to watch it happen. As he watched everyone go nuts for his popular, Jewish boyfriend he felt a lurch in his stomach. He was nervous to get his diploma. What if no one cheered? He wasn't exactly well liked growing up. He swallowed hard and held his breath as he listened for his name. Here it was…the moment of truth.

"Eric Cartman…congratulations…you made it!" the principal said joyously.

Eric continued to hold his breath as he sheepishly stepped out onto the stage and grabbed his diploma, smiling as best he could for his photo. For a small moment, he felt like it didn't matter if he looked nice or not. He didn't have anyone who would put it on their mantel anyway. However, just before the picture was about to be taken he heard some noise out in the crowd.

They were cheering; cheering louder than he'd heard them cheer for anyone else. He blinked, confused as he looked out at the crowd for the first time. As he scanned their faces, he couldn't help but smile broadly as he laid eyes on the Broflovski's, who were standing and jumping up and down applauding him. Kyle had his arm around Sheila's shoulder, a few tears falling down her face while she cheered. He smiled reassuringly at Eric and mouthed out to him, "I'm so proud of you…"

For the first time in years, he felt the warmth of genuine love and care as he looked at the photographer and smiled happily. Flash, the picture was taken and he had his diploma. It had happened; the moment had passed. He had officially entered the next phase of his life, and he couldn't help but laugh happily as he walked off of the stage, still caught off guard by the surprising amount of cheering that had taken place for him. He was about to walk over to an empty seat when Sheila reached out and grabbed him by the sleeve.

"Where do you think you're going Eric…you're going to sit with your family!" Sheila demanded, pulling him beside her and Kyle. Family? What a notion.

He smiled happily at them as Kyle grabbed his hand and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you Eric…we did it…now we can kick life's ass together," Kyle said excitedly, squeezing Eric's hand tight.

Eric was beaming as he looked at the Broflovski's, realizing that he finally had a home. Somewhere he fit in. Sure, when he'd first moved in things had been a little rocky, but over time Sheila and Gerald had started to treat him like he was their own son. It was a strange feeling to have a family, looking out for him and taking care of him. It was honestly the first time in his entire life that he truly had people looking out for him, and it felt amazing.

"I love you, too Kyle," he said happily as he pulled his boyfriend in for a tight hug. It wasn't but a second before Kenny and Stan ran up and forced themselves in on the hug, having gotten their diplomas now, too. They all laughed joyously as they embraced each other, knowing that they would all remain a part of each other's lives, no matter what.

As he realized this, he couldn't help but think about the note his mother had left him; he smiled with warmth at the thought.

_Eric,_

_I have to leave you now, but don't look at it as the end, it is only the beginning. I love you more than words could ever express, but it's time for me to move on. You're the only thing keeping me on this Earth, and I'm doing nothing for you. You deserve a family who can take care of you and give you things that I never could. I will always love you, Eric, and I will always be with you in your heart._

_Please, now that I'm gone I have one thing I have to ask of you. Don't let pride get in your way…be real. Say how you feel about people, and don't ever let them get away. You love Kyle, Eric…and even if you can't see it now, he loves you. It's the right way to go…trust me…Mommy knows best. :)_

_I'll see you around Poopsikins…and I'm always watching over you. Kisses and hugs._

_Always,_

_Mom._

Eric closed his eyes and smiled as he hugged Kyle close. The boys were huddled together, and as Eric relished in the moment, he realized that this was what his mother had wanted for him all along. He'd done well, and, in a way, he hoped she had too. He wasn't sure where she was, but wherever it was, on that day he could feel her. He knew she was there, watching him graduate and rallying the crowd to cheer as loud as they could for her son. As he nuzzled himself close to Kyle he looked up and almost felt like he could see her faintly in the distance.

He smiled, looking intently at what he could only muse was her and mouthed the words, "I love you, always and forever, my wonderful, beautiful mother."

THE END.


End file.
